I have alway been a minority in my school system. Always. From PreK to 12th grade, at my small Montessori and Quaker schools on to my private college in upstate New York. And I always think what my life would be like right now if I would've listened to my mom when she told me it's time for a change, that it's time to be a majority and a member of a community with more than a maximum of 50 members.
I think it was time. I don't regret my decision to come to Ithaca College, but I do imagine sometimes how a different one — a HBCU (historically black college and university) — would have benefitted me, and here's what I was able to come up with.
1. Understanding
Simply being around people who can understand what you are going though, without having to explain it, because most likely they've gone through it too.
2. Hair Laaaid
Need I say more? Because no one at IC can help me braid, knot or even part my damn hair.
3. Security
In these terms, meaning the opposite of insecure. I always feel like I am less-than when I'm with my friends now. I feel like someone won't like me as much as them. There'd be no room for that if I was in a different environment.
4. (More) Equality
In terms of classrooms, subjective grading and all that can come along with the education system.
5. Inclusivity
Have you ever wanted to feel like you were a part of something bigger than yourself? Well if I was at an HBCU, I wouldn't be the only brown body in the general area, and I honestly just want to experience how that feels. I imagine it'd be warm. Like sitting in front of a fire. Something you wouldn't want to let go of.
6. Empathy
Those around me would take in my feelings on a harsh issue, and then offer their own. There are so many instances where my friends just can't relate to me. Sometimes I just wish I was around more people who could.
7. Lit Parties
Because I want to dance all night and not stand around in a kitchen.
8. The Guys
LAWD.
9. A New Take On Education
It would honestly be something I've just never experienced. Instead of being that one girl who everyone turns to for their personal opinion on social justice or slavery or activism, professors could turn to everyone, including themselves. What an amazing concept.
10. Opportunities
The chance to connect with people in certain fields who recognize you went to an HBCU, people who may have went to one themselves and applaud you for it. The love in their communities seems like something special.
11. Appreciation
This is the biggest one for me because sometimes in a world sprinkled with snowflakes, I feel like the dirty pile on the side of the road that hasn't melted yet. I feel like no one likes me or sees me as equal. Sometimes they say, "Oh it's just in your head," but no. It's real. But it's something I've learned to cope with even though I wish I didn't have to deal with it.
I may think about how I'd be different, but I wouldn't say I regret any decisions I, or my parents, made for myself. All these things I talked about are just nice accommodations. But the world is not nice or accommodating. I'm grateful for the experiences I've had that have helped callus my tough skin in order to help me thrive.
I've learned how to deal with the lack of understanding and empathy, surpass my educational boundaries and find my own new opportunities. I've had to deal with insecurity all my life and am trying to overcome it with an attempt in newfound confidence. And if no one appreciates me, I have to accept that I need to appreciate myself and stop seeking outsiders' approval.
As for my hair, I have Youtube. And as for the guys on campus — they're scarce but girl, we do have some gems.
The reality of it all is this: we all know we want what we can't have. As for my friends who attend HBCUs and say, "Sometimes I just wish I went to a normal school," appreciate where you are and make the most of it.
But hey, I still have grad school, right?
