As my freshman year of college comes to an end, I’ve had time to reflect on the year. And I noticed a very common trend. Us freshmen, new to the college experience, ask MANY questions, some of which are really stupid. Read further for ensuing ridiculousness.
1. Does anyone want my bus/concert ticket?
Like, seriously. This was one of the most common questions I saw posted on my class’ Facebook page. I’m sorry, but how do you go out and buy tickets for something when you’re a broke college student without 100% knowing you can go? If you’re wondering, these people rarely ever got responses to their posts.
2. Is anyone heading to [insert distant town]?
A common question is the “Can I get a ride to Narnia?” question. Like, who do you think is heading down to the Dalles on a Tuesday, Becky? Just you. But not really, because you don’t have a ride.
3. Does anyone want to buy my unwanted trash?
“Yeah, I have this really nice North Face jacket. It was originally bought in 2012 for like $90. It has several cigarette burns on the front, the zipper is broken, and the color is slightly faded. Great condition! Asking for $80 OBO.” Really? Get over yourself. No one is buying your nasty trash cape.
4. Why is dinner so early?
Yeah, I want to know this too. Who the hell eats dinner at 5 p.m.? Why does it end by 7 p.m.? And changing them on the weekend to end earlier? Are you kidding me?!
5. Where’s the party?
Oh, you sweet simple-minded college kid. Unlike the high school ragers you’ve been to, college parties are almost all B.Y.O.B. So, unless you can get your hands on some alcohol, you’re probably not getting into any parties. Buddy up to someone who’s 21+ or get yourself a fake ID.
6. I’m sorry, but will you take my survey?
Stop apologizing. As long as it has an intriguing subject or title, your five-question survey isn’t going to hinder my day.
7. Anyone know any great hiking spots?
Oh, yes, the great outdoors. If you’re going up to Western Washington University, be prepared for a culture of students that hike religiously. And if you’re a novice wanting to go out, hit up one of the many experienced hikers for tips and great views — they know what they’re talking about.
8. Does anyone know of any good coffee shops? I need to study.
Girl (or boy), where do you think you are? This is the PNW. Coffee practically runs through our veins. There are great coffee shops everywhere.
9. Does anyone know any easy GUR classes?
Oh, yes. It seems you need that GPA boost, and what better way than to do it by taking a General University Requirement that has nothing to do with your intended degree? I don’t know. Try something in communications. But whatever you do: DO NOT TAKE A MUSIC SURVEY COURSE!
10. Does anyone need a roommate?
We’re all trying to escape the dorms, so if anyone’s got an apartment for less than $600, hmu.
11. Anyone wanna go on a naked bike ride?
Actually… Hold up, let me check my schedule.
So, there you have it. Freshman year is the time to ask questions. Don't get hung up on whether or not you think it's stupid. Just remember: There are no stupid questions... just stupid people. Good luck!
