As many of you have probably already read, I tend to believe that life is a string of awkward moments with some queso thrown in in between. I also hold the belief that life is a series of questions for obscure relatives to ask you at holiday parties. These questions start at a young age: "What sports are you playing these days?" This question always frustrated me as I was typically the person to drop the ball, literally, in gym class, and then ensure the wrath of those students that have always been too competitive since birth.
The questions then escalate to more serious matters such as, "Where are you going to college?" Once you conquer that decision, your aunt’s childhood best friend’s sister continues the inquiries to find out about your major and your involvement on campus. Here is a list of some of the classic questions we all get asked while on holiday break.
1. Have you gotten even taller?
Jeez, you make it sound like I'm some sort of behemoth. Considering my growth plates closed around the age of 14, I'm going to go with no, I haven't gotten taller.
2. Where do you go to school again?
How many times have we been over this?
3. How's school?
For some reason, the only answer we can come up with for this question is "good." You know that your grandma doesn't want to know about the time you blacked out before 1 p.m. but of course that's all that's coming to you in that moment. It's as if SpongeBob is doing a brain dump of everything you remember from your college career.
4. How are your grades?
This question is even more difficult because your go-to answer of "good" is nowhere near available. Panic.
5. So now what are you going to do with THAT major?
Whenever the emphasis is on the "THAT," you know that this certain relative isn't too fond of your choice of psychology, English, or whatever it may be.
6. Have you gained weight?
Yes. A million times yes. Let's just say that I've never woken up from a night out and been like, "Wow where'd this salad come from?" It's more like, "Oh man, is there any possible way that one of these wrappers I'm covered in still has a taco in it?"
7. Do you know what you want to do when you graduate?
I'm sorry, what? No I do not have plans for after I graduate. I'm just now figuring out how not to ruin my laundry every single time I do it.
8. Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
No, unfortunately I have not found my husband in the three weeks it's been since the last time you asked me at Thanksgiving.
9. Who are you voting for in the 2016 election?
We are most definitely not starting that discussion under my watch.
10. Do you have plans for over break?
When you say plans...
I mean I'm pretty busy laying around if that's what you're asking. I feel like I might be misunderstanding the question though.
11. So you're really not seeing anyone?
Remember when you asked me that five minutes ago, and I said no? Answer is still no.
