Do you remember the first time you told your significant other you loved them? The amazing feelings of butterflies and bubbly warmth that washed over you when you heard them say those perfect three words back to you? I never thought there would be any other words that would evoke that same sense of happiness, satisfaction, and excitement, until I came to college. Here are 11 phrases every college student wants to hear, other than "I love you."
1. "Class is cancelled."
That dreaded two-hour lecture on the importance on macroeconomics is cancelled, so you climb into bed for a nap, or decide to start your weekend early and down three margaritas, there's no in between.
2. "Your direct deposit is ready."
I can finally eat something besides Doritos on sliced bread for breakfast, now that my direct deposit has hit.
3. "Attendance is optional."
No, Mom, I didn't skip class, the professor made it optional. He said it, not me.
4. "You get a 3" x 5" index card for the exam."
Thank God I'll have a tiny notecard with microscopic writing that I will never consult or be able to decipher during my exam. It's just nice knowing I have some answers on this note card.
5. "There will be a curve."
Finally, my grade won't have to be based on that one smart-ass kid who decides to over-achieve and do well on the exam while the rest of us fail. I see you.
6. "There's an online pdf version of the textbook."
Thank you, for saving me $200+ on buying/renting a textbook I'll only use once, and another $100 on an access code I'll also probably also only use once to turn in that one online homework assignment.
7. "I'll drop your lowest quiz/test score."
You know that one quiz you totally bombed? Professors who got your back and drop that score restore my faith in humanity.
8. "I'll have to end class early."
Just when you were seconds away from getting carpal tunnel from frantically scribbling down the professor's notes, they decide to end class early. Thank you, Jesus.
9. "I've decided to extend the deadline."
Just when you're preparing to pull an all nighter and dig your own grave, your professor decides to shed light on your dark and stressed soul and extend the deadline. It's like, they knew you were f*cked.
10. "The midterm will be take home."
Midterms week(s) has wrecked you. You're still alive, but barely breathing. You have eye bags for days and you sweat caffeine at this point from downing all those late night coffees and Monsters to pull those all-nighters. Then your professor says these six beautiful words, and you break into your happy dance.
11. "There will be free food."
Two hour seminar on the importance of being drug and alcohol free, followed by pizza? Meeting for the astronomy club, cupcakes will be provided? Sign-up today and get a free lollipop? I don't care what the event is, what food will be served, what organs I have to donate, if there's free food, count me in.
OK, so maybe these phrases aren't as great as hearing the love of your life say "I love you" for the first time ever, but it's damn near close to it. And for those who have never been in love, well, these are basically an "I love you" from your professor.
