Adulting is hard, but doing it with great college roommates makes it a little easier. Living with them has been cut short because of quarantine which is sad, but looking back at these memories made me smile. Here is a running list of funny quotes my college roommates said throughout the year. Again, all of these were completely real and unprompted.
1. "Are Ducks Birds?"
2. "Is the Super Bowl coming up? My Super Bowl Spidey senses were tingling after I saw a Doritos ad."
Associating the Super Bowl with football snacks is the right way to do it. I don't think either of us knew who was playing in the game, but we knew it was about time to see some new Doritos commercials.
3. "Is March Madness this month?" (In February)
4. "My high school boyfriend didn't know what a blueberry was."
I still laugh about this because it's so painfully true. But I think it would be hilarious to not tell a kid about something like popcorn until they're ten so they can be amazed by the new discovery.
5. "My ex changed his name to his celebrity crush's name."
I thought it was pretty cool.
6. "Post Malone would be a terrible roommate."
We both agreed that he would bring too much drama to the apartment and I stand by that.
7. "I'm in the middle of a mental breakdown. How do you dye your own hair?"
8. "I don't even want to get drunk; I'm just trying to make pasta sauce."
My roommate struggled for quite a while trying to open a wine bottle so she could use the wine in her pasta sauce. She had her priorities in order by putting pasta over everything. After that, there was a wine bottle with the cork floating in it on the counter for about a month. Using a corkscrew is hard.
9. "I'll go see the Antarctica p*ssy play. I've paid more for a Vitamin Water on campus than for that ticket."
We were very cultured and went to plays like Collective Rage.
10. "I really hope you're playing your favorite and most intense heavy metal to harmonize with her gospel rap."
Not all our music tastes were similar.
11. "So the pile of toilet paper on the floor isn't from you?"
From that time when a girl celebrating her 21st birthday wandered into our apartment and left a pile of toilet paper in the bathroom and the front door wide open.
