Catholic Mass is a beautiful thing, Pope Paul VI went so far as to say that, “The Mass is the most perfect form of prayer #Truth. Amidst all that beauty, there is one awkward part of the Mass that gives us all a good taste of social anxiety, namely the Sign of Peace. The Sign of Peace is meant to show peace and unity among the Church as a whole, but the manifestation of this peace usually ends in an awkward internal debate about whether to go in for a hug or stick to a simple handshake. Here are 11 cringe-worthy moments we have all experienced during the Sign of Peace:
1. The Eternal Debate: Hug Or Shake?
We all know the struggle of sitting next to someone you kind of know during Mass and having to decide whether to settle for a shake or risk it for the biscuit and go in for a hug. The worst thing is when you stick out your hand for a handshake but they go in for a hug so you have to pretend like you were going in for a hug the entire time #TheStruggleIsReal
2. Deciding Who To Hug First When You’re In The Middle Of Two People
This one happens to me a lot. I’ll end up in the middle of two friends and stress about which one to hug first. Usually I’ll look and see if there’s anyone on either side of them and start pairing people off in my head which requires more math than I’m prepared to do during Mass.
3. Sitting Next To Someone Of The Opposite Gender
This one isn’t an issue if you're really good friends with the guy but what happens when you're halfway friends that know each other from class? Do you offer him your hand (in peace not marriage) or lean in for a weird hug thing while leaving enough room for the Holy Spirit? Do you follow his lead? Probably none of the above and you'll just stand there in awkward indecision.
4. Handling The Sign Of Peace When You’re Sick
Being sick is bad enough but now you have to awkwardly explain to people why you can’t shake their hand. Don’t sweat it, remember that it snot your fault for being sick. Pro tip: blow your nose right before the sign of peace so no one wants to shake your hand anyway.
5. When You’re Sitting All By Yourself
This usually happens during daily mass when there’s like 10 people in the church, but unfortunately not in your general vicinity. Do you wave at someone across the church? Do you stand still so no one can sense you? Do you wish for civilization? Or D, all of the above?
6. Hugging Someone Over Another Human Being
My friend is on the other side of another human being, how do I proceed? I can’t go under it, I can’t go over it, I have to go through it.
7. Dealing With The Greatest Evil Of All- Clammy Hands
Pretend all you want, but sweaty hands affect all of us *Cue PSA commercial with Sarah McLaughlin telling us that she too suffers from clammy hands and it’s highly treatable* I suggest casually wiping your hands off on your pants or if all else fails, wear mittens and hope no one notices.
8. Offering Someone The Sign Of Peace That Doesn’t Notice You
You make eye contact, go in for the kill, but then at the last moment- they look away. Remain calm and immediately play it off like you were reaching for something.
9. Or The Complete Opposite- Two People Reach For Your Hand At The Same Time
You reach out for one hand when BAM another hand comes out of nowhere and expects your immediate attention. God gave you two hands so use them son.
10. You Don’t Get The Handshake Quite Right
Everything is going swimmingly until suddenly, without warning, you have a brain fart and forget how to give someone a proper handshake. Stay cool and think to yourself, what would Snoop Dogg do? Please refer to the visual above.
11. Finally, Accidentally Finishing Peace Too Early
You did it! You properly gave everyone around you the sign of peace...in under 10 seconds. Way to go speed racer. Now you have plenty of time to kick back and notice the awkward exchanges around you. Or you know since you’re in Mass, praying never hurts.
