Public transportation in New York City is incredible. It’s fast and relatively cheap, but the best part of the subway system is that you see and travel with people so far removed from any social circle that you associate yourself with. From the heaps of garbage surrounding trashcans labeled “Litter Stops Here,” to the strong smell of urine coming from the homeless man asleep by the exit stairs, there’s something so refreshing about commuting somewhere with a group of people who are so different than yourself. But as convenient as public transportation is, traveling in tight corners with hundreds of people you don’t know can result in many awkward situations.

1. When the doors don’t open immediately.

The train stops, so you stand up to get out. But wait! You can’t, because the doors aren’t freaking opening and ugh, now the people trying to get on the train are waiting impatiently to board and you just made eye contact with someone on the other side of the door for so long that you’re practically married by now. The only way to avoid this awkwardness is to stare down at your feet or fixate on an advertisement until the doors open.

2. When someone sits next to you.

The worst is when there are a million open seats and a passenger chooses to sit next to you. Like, why? What do they get out of sitting in close proximity to another stranger when there is so much other room? I think these kind of people have ulterior motives and are perverts, but don’t quote me on that. Sometimes sitting next to someone can be nice because you can read their text messages, watch what game they’re playing, or even follow along in their book to take away from the boredom of commuting. Mostly it sucks though, especially when someone who sits next to you spills over onto your seat and they either end up sitting on top of you or you look like an asshole taking up one and a half seats.

3. When you take a Snapchat but forget to turn the flash off.

You’re minding your business, trying to think thin so you can fit on the crowded train, when suddenly your attention is diverted from contorting your body to the couple sucking face right in front of you. “Is this really happening?” you think to yourself. Yes, it is. So, you take our your smart phone (I was going to say iPhone but there are some oddballs out there who have Androids or whatever the other phones are called) and snap a photo at a prime time and successfully capture a disgusting saliva swapping moment. SHIT! The flash went off and the jig is up. To save yourself from the awkwardness you get off at the next stop even though you have five more to go and delay your commute by thirty minutes.

4. Taking too long to give money to a subway performer.

If you give money to street performers on the Subway then you are a much better person than I am. I mean, I feel bad about not giving helping out a poor, unfortunate soul; but at the same time if I give this homeless person my last two dollars then what will I use to buy late night pizza? If you’re going to be a mensch and give charity to the insane homeless man giving his sob story spiel, but all means do it, but don’t take too long rummaging through your purse for change. It’s so awkward for everyone on the train car to watch them wait for your donation like a dog salivating over his owner’s steak. So please, get your change together before beckoning them over and save us the discomfort of watching your awkward transaction.

5. When everyone gets off at a stop but you’re still sitting uncomfortably close to someone.

The rules that apply to riding the elevator don’t necessarily apply to riding the subway. In an elevator, when people get off on a floor the people left inside are allowed to rearrange themselves. This mobility isn’t so easy when you’re sitting on the train. Everyone on sitting on your row got off at a stop except for one moderately smelly man. You only have two more stops to go, but is it worth it to get up? Will he think you’re being rude by moving? Maybe you should just stay to avoid awkwardness. It’s not like he smells that badly, and besides, you kind of enjoy the smell of sweaty onions mixed with urine and orange Fanta.

6. When someone sitting next to you moves to another seat.

Do I smell? Is it because I’m ugly? Why did you move away from me?? I can’t help but feel extremely self conscious when a complete stranger moves away from me.

7. When a crazy person gets on the train.

It’s never not awkward and it’s sometimes kind of scary. One minute you’re trying not to stare at the couple making out in front of you and the next you’re trying really hard to pretend like the psycho screaming about something unintelligible.

8. Catching someone staring at you.

Depending on who it is, catching someone staring at you can result in various emotions. If it’s someone in a trench coat at the opposite side of the trolley, you’re probably going to feel stalked. If it’s a homely and raggedy looking person, you’re probably going to feel uncomfortable and scared. The worst is when it’s an attractive person staring at you and you want to stare back at them but don’t want them to know that you know that they’re staring at you, and you also don’t want them to know that you think they’re attractive. Then you begin to wonder why they are staring at you and if it’s because they’re making fun of the bindi pimple that grew between your eyebrows that morning. You could wear sunglasses with colored lenses on the train to avoid the penetrating stares from passersby; if you’re willing to look like an asshole.

9. When you don’t give up your seat for an elderly person.

My brother Ilan and I were on the train on our way to our older brother’s birthday party. Immersed deep in conversation about my relationship problems, Ilan didn’t notice an elderly lady board the train. After a few minutes she passive aggressively called him out for not offering her his seat. It was mad awkward. We did end up making pleasant conversation with her after cracking her hard shell by asking for travel directions (not sure why that did the trick) but there was still some negative energy flowing between the three of us.

10. When you miss your stop because you were editing a photo.

This is just awkward for you.

11. When you accidentally fall asleep on someone’s shoulder.

For everyone else on the train that’s an LOL moment, but for you it’s an FML moment.