If you watched the season premiere of "The Bachelorette" on Monday night, you know that there were some interesting moments. From the awkward limo exits to the guys' drunkenness in the house, the night was, in a word, a mess. Because watching these moments once weren't painful enough, here they are again:
1. Basically everything about John's limo exit.
John, who is is half-Chinese and half-Scottish, wanted to highlight his Scottish heritage by stepping out of the limo in a kilt. It was cute and innocent at first, but then he opened his mouth. Comments such as "Luckily for me, I am half-Scottish below the waist" and "I'm not wearing any panties" made JoJo visibly uncomfortable, and did not earn him a rose.
2. The cheesy pick-up lines.
We saw many Tinder-worthy pick-up lines used by the guys that were just awful. Chase, wearing a mustache, approached JoJo and said, "I mustache you a question." We were all confused because he never actually asked her a question. Sal, handing JoJo two small blue balls, said, "If at any point in the night you feel stressed, I give you permission to squeeze my balls." No thanks, Sal. Coley, who also has a profession in real estate, confidently said, "At the end of this, I hope to take you off the market." (Gag.) Nick approached JoJo in a split, kissed her hand and said, "I came here to fall pretty quickly for a unicorn, but I didn’t realize it was going to happen that quick." Good one. Lastly, Vinny tells JoJo that he didn't bring champagne, but he will make a toast, as he pulls out, you guessed it, a piece of toast. Ha ha ha.
3. Brandon's limo exit.
Brandon, the 28-year-old hipster (a.k.a. unemployed), decided to go with the brutally honest limo exit. "I didn’t watch the last season at all, I have no idea … I have nothing … I know nothing about you whatsoever," he said. Is that a compliment or...?
4. Santa.
Jojo and everyone watching was pretty confused as to why a contestant would come to the mansion dressed as Santa. But, when we found out the contestant's name is Nick, it was pretty clever. It got awkward when the night went on and he was still in the costume. Even when he talked with JoJo, she sat on his lap. When JoJo gave him a rose, she still called him "Saint Nick." It was just a bit weird.
5. When Alex did push-ups.
Need I say more?
6. When two contestants drunkenly interrupted JoJo's interview.
JoJo is getting interviewed in a room in the mansion when contestants Nick and then Vinny drunkenly interrupt. JoJo looked tense and awkward. No one, including JoJo, knew what was going on.
7. Will's awkward kiss.
Using a cootie catcher, Will "seduced" JoJo into kissing him. (More like "forced" if you ask me.) We could tell that she did not want to kiss and have this be her first kiss as the Bachelorette. Overall, it was just very awkward and reminded me of when Phoebe and Chandler kissed...
8. Everything about Daniel.
Daniel, with the profession "Canadian," made quite the first impression. Apparently to Canadians, to fit in in America, you need to say Internet memes repeatedly, poke other guys' belly buttons and get "white-Canadian wasted." Everything that Daniel did during this first episode was just cringe-worthy. Fortunately for him (and unfortunately for everyone else), he got a rose. But it is OK, every season of the Bachelor/Bachelorette needs a Lace...
9. Every time someone said "Damn Daniel."
Daniel was the first one who said "Damn JoJo, back at it again as the next Bachelorette" when he exited the limo, and JoJo had no idea what he was referring to. He then brought it up again when he had his alone time with her, and had to awkwardly explain what the meme was. Trying to explain "Damn Daniel" without having Internet access is probably one of the worst things to happen. Besides this, other guys in the house would randomly say the phrase. I'm pretty sure we all agree that this meme needs to die.
10. Jordan's hair.
When JoJo was giving Jordan the first impression rose, I'm pretty sure this is what all of us couldn't stop looking at.
11. When Jake Pavelka surprised JoJo.
The former Bachelor made a surprise visit during the rose ceremony. He caught all of the guys off guard. When he took JoJo aside, she was obviously nervous and was unsure of what his intentions were. Basically, he just wished her good luck and gave her advice. No one really knew what the point of that was.
It should be an interesting season.
