It's Okay To Not Have A Ton Of Best Friends
Start writing a post
Friendships

Not Everyone Is Worth My Time And Energy And That's OK

I had a lot of "best friends" growing up

79
Not Everyone Is Worth My Time And Energy And That's OK
https://unsplash.com/photos/-Ux5mdMJNEA

I have learned many lessons these past four years, almost five years of college and the roots go back all the way to my childhood. The lesson I have learned at 22 is: not everyone is worth your time and energy.

I'm from a small town where pretty much my whole graduating class I knew from either all the way back to pre-school or to the first or second grade. I had a lot of "best friends" growing up and we were glued to the hips during recess and at the afterschool program at the YMCA. I was nice to have so many friends to play with on the playground, and to eat lunch with or to sit on the circle carpet for story time. It was nice to have a partner in crime always.

Middle school is when I just wanted to be liked. I was in jazz band, band, choir, and soccer. I got along fine with my band nerds, but in middle school, cliques begin and they're hard to break or join if you haven't been friends with them since you were little. My "best friends" weren't glued to my hip anymore, and I was tackling on middle school the best I could.

High school I had many "best friends" again. Thanks to theatre, show choir, chorus, fundraisers, late night rehearsals and classes I was constantly with my people. I was with the people who understood my late-night homework stress and running quickly to Dunkin Donuts to grab a bagel and coffee before our three o'clock rehearsal. These people understood me in ways my family didn't. They were always there to talk about my problems and darkest secrets, and they were my second family since I was rarely home those four years.

Now I'm in college and am back to not have many "best friends" and I'm learning that's okay. I am okay with a small group of real friends. Friends who will answer my calls and texts when I have an emergency, good news, or need to move furniture around my dorm because I'm bored. I don't need a ton of best friends, because I'm learning I didn't really know all of those "best friends" in my group of 20 friends. I vaguely knew them, but I didn't know every little detail, I couldn't finish their sentences, and I don't know their stir fry order if they're late to dinner.

I am a people pleaser and I want people to like me. Yet if those "best friends" don't like me I have to be okay with that. I don't need to put in my energy and time to make them like me. I have friends on campus who are glued to my hip, daily food dates, library dates, and someone I can bounce ideas off. Those are the best friends I need. The friends who miss me when I'm gone for a day or so and know the ending of my bad jokes.

You're not going to have everyone like you and it's not worth your time and energy. I bet you're an amazing person who is surrounded by the right people you need in life right now. Forget the ones who burnt the bridge between you two and be happy with the people who you have in your life and have stayed through thick and then. Those are your best friends and your people.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

58422
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

37637
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

959233
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

193658
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments