As nearly every girl ranging from ages 16 and up tuned into ABC’s premiere of this seasons Bachelorette. Jojo was stunning as usual as she was naturally fawned over by all of her suitors, some of whom seem inept to be in her presence, honestly. Anyways, these are definitely the thoughts that popped into your head while watching the two-hour dramatic season opener.
1. This walk on the beach is so unnecessary.
2. A firefighter. seriously??
3. former pro QB?? yes please.
4. woah his jeans are tight.
5. that biker is fineeeee.
6. ugh AND in the marine core.
7. bachelor super fan?? how is that paycheck??
8. he has a bracket. seriously.
9. I am so uncomfortable right now.
10. ED specialist. um. interesting.
11. is this supposed to be a joke?
12. this Iranian guy seems like a frustrated artist.
13. the gym at 4:30 am?? please do less.
14. race card dropped. no judgement now man.
15. shit there are so many vets.
16. this guy definitely says yolo.
17. he didn't just call her dress fire did he.
18. uh. the wine was a power move.
19. that dude looks like a vampire.
20. clearly she wasn't blown away by Ali lmao
21. omg the guitarrrrrr
22. THE FUCK IS THAT KILT
23. my occupation is not "American"
24. the Santa is soooo extra
25. these mustache jokes are so sub-par
26. you just handed her blue balls. classy.
27. HIPSTER IS NOT AN OCCUPATION
28. that split WHAT
29. oh a dance what
30. how long was that piece of toast in his jacket??
31. ew he just said God bless America about her. cringe.
32. I'm conflicted about this a cappella group
33. damn that unicorn is cute
34. literally where are 25 guys to fawn over me. lmk.
35. stop doing push-ups
36. omg why is she sitting on him
37. tg she has wine
38. this nerd guy looks like Jim from the office
39. can they say amazing one more time?
40. where is the drunk boy
41. where is the drama
42. I need the drama
43. or a drunk guy
44. these nervous guys make me really happy
45. giving her the jacket. such a gentleman.
46. HAHAHHAA THAT KISS
47. yup. most awkward kiss ever.
48. yessss Jordan came back
49. kiss her
50. kiss her
51. YESSS
52. zomg that was so cute
53. those singers are literally just standing there
54. what
55. please go away
56. this damn Daniel interaction makes me uncomfortable
57. what is that bear
58. yes the drunk people are coming
59. the anticipation is unreal
60. why is this belly button debacle even a thing
61. stop this now
62. lol at throwing shade at suit brands
63. stop flexing for the camera
64. put your pants on
65. this Canadian needs to leave
66. oh he's jumping in the pool
67. claps for this dude
68. I need more drunk people hahahaha
69. ok he's crashing the interview
70. he needs to drink the water
71. wow this went 0 to 100
72. lol at the alcohol advice
73. Beethoven what
74. ew sitting on Santa’s lap
75. this is so odd
76. ew he's sweating
77. tg she put the beard back on
78. that dude looks like a chiseled squid ward
79. shoes are truly the way to a woman's heart
80. he better kiss her again
81. good boy
82. this dude is soooo cocky
83. why is the Ed guy so obsessed with himself
84. rose ceremony. let's go.
85. who this dude
86. ok most of these make sense
87. ok vampire dude seriously
88. tbh most of those were pretty reasonable
89. ok yay flash forward to next week
90. drama drama drama
91. wow they really hate Jordan
92. why is there so much kissing
93. wow so much kissing
94. Jojo is sooo much better than Caitlyn
95. will they stop mentioning Ben?
96. who cares he's hot
97. whatever
98. not salty
99. time to make a bracket
100. now we have to wait a week ugh
