16 Weird And EXTRA Things I SAY

16 Weird And EXTRA Things I SAY

Sixteen phrases only true Lindsey Ocock fans will understand.
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I say some weird things sometimes — when my friends or family mock me or tell me things that I frequently say, I’m usually kind of shook when they say "you say that all the time" because, a lot of the time, I honestly just say whatever comes to mind even if it makes zero sense after I say it. So here are some phrases or sayings that are SO me.

1. “HOLY POONICKELS”


This is my original saying and if you’re wondering what the heck a poonickel is…I would explain it as a poop emoji or someone that is a poonickel is probably 'lil sh*t but poonickel is just less offensive and rude.

2. “What the heckie”

Basically what the heck but cuter.

3. “Idiota”

THIS is a sort of a dumb and long for no reason story, but my sister and I were making fun of the way southern people say words like “Colorado” or “avocado” and my sister is a poonickel and said that people say “Oreota” instead of Oreo and I said “girl, you’re an idiota” and we laughed forever and saying idiota instead of idiot was born.

4. “HA”

I usually say this in a text when it funny, but not that funny or I just think you're a poonickel idiota and I just really don’t get why you think something is THAT “hahaha” funny.

5. “I’m STRESSED”

I’m usually not even stressed I’m probably just grumpy and need a nap. HA.

6. “He/she is not even cute”

I’m gossiping or talking trash or probably dragging someone because she was being rude and she's honestly so cute, but I’m mad so I yell “she's NOT CUTE.”

7. I call rednecks “yee yees”

I think it is a lot more politically correct to say yee yee over redneck. I think it’s important to note that yee yees used to be my type, so I have some respect for the breed.

8. "I’m LIVIN’"

Because I truly am. OR my life is a mess and I’m trying to convince myself that everything is fine.

9. “BLESS UP” or just “bless”

This goes along with number eight, but we’re all just blessed, so bless the heck up.

10. “Wanna get Kickin’?”

Kickin' Chicken is a blessing. I love you forever, Kickin’, and thank you for the ranch.

11. "Yess b"

I love calling people "b" because they just don't know what I mean, but it's kind of cute too.

12. "Cheers to the freakin' Thurs"

Because Thursday is the best day.

13. "LIT !!!!"

It's lit even in the library. I started saying "it's lit" as a joke and kind of making fun of people who say that things are lit when they're not. I actually say it now for real and it's probably embarrassing, but it's so funny. ~ LITTTTT ~

14. "Don't freak out but..."

@ my mom and dad LOL!

15. "That's SO annoying"

Many things are... SMH.

16. "Ya know what I'm saying?"

OK, I'm just making sure.

Yeah, I’m a little extra, but all the greats are, and I love the heckie out of my homies and my fam, so roll Cougs, go gray, CHEERS and I'm livin' because life is great and always boujee even when it's not.

Cover Image Credit: Lindsey Ocock

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To The Girl Who Still Has Her Mom This Christmas

To the girl with who is blessed enough to have her momma this Christmas. 
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     To the girl who is blessed enough to have her momma this Christmas, please remember to soak every last bit of it in. 

      Please remember to hug her so tight, that the way she smells is locked into your nose. Listen to all the stories you've heard a million times, like you've never heard a single one. Help her, even if it seems completely silly to you, help her mix that cake. Laugh, oh please laugh. Laugh at all her corky ways, at the way she mispronounces words, try's to be hip and use new found lingo, or how she cusses when she forgot to get the rolls out of the oven but quickly asks the Lord for forgiveness. Remember her laugh, etch it into your brain. Make her happy, if she wants to go riding around looking at Christmas lights down the same streets you've went for years, do it. Don't fuss, take her advice, agree to just disagree on things. It's not worth it. Most importantly, remind her over and over how much you love her. 

     Because unlike you, I'm not able to see my mom on Christmas. I'm not able to see her on birthdays, Thanksgiving, or any other occasion. My time with her is up. Death is the most permanent heartbreak. 

     How I long to hear her voice, her laugh. To feel her tight embrace. Smell, oh god, what I would give to just be able to smell her. I would absolutely love to go riding around for hours while she ohhs and ahhs at every single house we pass. If I had the opportunity I'd tell her just how much I love her, how I'm so thankful for all the sacrifices she made for me. In fact, I'm not sure I could ever tell her enough. 

      Some days I wake up and it still doesn't feel real. Others, I panic trying to remember exactly how she sounded. Because, I don't want to forget. I don't want to forget a single characteristic about her. Not one. 

     Take time, not just on holidays, or special occasions to be with your mom. Even if it's just you two piled up watching reruns of "The Little House on the Prairie", soak it in. 

    You only get one momma. Nobody could ever take her place. She's your rock. 

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I Will Now Reflect Back On My Time As A Completely 'Out Of Place' Odyssey Writer

I've had a great time writing for this publication, even though my articles may have been a bit too unique.

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I've been writing for Odyssey for a little over a year and a half now. That's around 80 weeks, and I've submitted approximately 1 article per week, so I guess that would make... around 80 articles if I did my math right. I've had a great time writing for this publication, I've just been totally out of place the entire time. Now, let me explain.

My articles don't exactly resemble the typical piece of content seen on this website. My goal was never to extensively ramble about my personal feelings or act like I'm some political authority figure on a topic that I actually know nothing about. Nope, my goal, at least most of the time, is to make people laugh, or at least create a piece of content that hopefully, nobody has seen before.

Instead of writing an open letter to someone I care about, I wrote an open letter to my facial hair. Instead of ranking the five best restaurants near my college, I wrote a ranking about the five best convenience stores. Instead of telling people where they should go to study, I told people where they should go to have their school-induced mental breakdown. You get the idea.

If there's any sort of common element among most of my articles, it's definitely a satirical tone. Sometimes it works great, sometimes not so much, and everything in between. Scrolling through the UA Odyssey feed of all the articles that the community had recently published, it would usually be pretty clear from the title if an article was mine or not. After all, "5 Things That Happen When Your Pet Tiger Suddenly Goes Berserk And Starts Eating All The Neighborhood Dogs" is not exactly something that most people would write.

Still, I am very thankful that Odyssey gave me the opportunity to write this sort of content, and I plan to use my experience here as a stepping stone to my almost impossible dream of someday writing for The Onion or Clickhole, which I know will quite likely never come true, but it's always nice to dream, I think. Then again, who knows? Maybe I will get there one day. Quite possibly not, but you never know.

Due to the vast differences between the majority of my content and practically everything else that Odyssey publishes, I consider myself an out of place Odyssey writer. But, I'm completely and totally okay with that. I'm not sure that anything I've ever written has actually furthered Odyssey's mission, but I'm cool with that as well. I've created a lot of what I consider to be very unique content, for better and for worse. Not necessarily good or bad, but definitely unique.

So thank you Odyssey, thank you for allowing me to write things such as my satirical argument that the best proof we have for the existence of God is the existence of Girl Scout Cookies, and my article talking about how humans could learn several valuable life lessons from mantis shrimp. These, among others, are pieces of content that I am indeed proud of, and they are also probably totally out of place on Odyssey's website, which I love.

Thanks again Odyssey, for allowing me to embrace my strange sense of humor through the content I write for you. I really do love being so, so completely out of place.

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