When I tell people I've been with my boyfriend for four years and how happy we are together, a lot of times they're shocked. “How have you stayed together so long?” “And you can still stand to be around each other?” and “Don't you think you're missing out?” are just a few of the responses I've gotten.
To me it doesn't seem like a huge accomplishment or something that would be seen as strange. I enjoy being around him. He's my best friend. He's the love of my life. We don't fight and we’re just as in love or even more in love than when we met.
If you keep these important things in mind, being happy with someone for such a long time and still be in the “honeymoon phase” years later will come just as naturally as breathing.
1. Don't get too comfortable with each other.
We joke that we’re way too comfortable with each other at this point but I tell myself constantly to never let myself get too comfortable with him simply because I never want to take him for granted. Even if you get to the point where you can be completely gross around each other and spend your days laying around doing nothing but looking at memes, you can't forget to put in effort.
2. COMMUNICATE!!!
I like to think that I know him pretty well at this point. I can tell from his face or the tone of his voice when he's bothered. But still, we’re not mind readers. If we're upset about anything or feel that we should be doing something different we tell each other. It saves a lot of grief in the long run.
3. Compliment each other.
It's a small thing but it's important to let each other know how much you like each other every now and then. Even it's the most minimal thing, a compliment can go a long way. Plus, telling them how handsome or beautiful you think they are as often as you can is a real self-esteem boost.
4. Laugh together.
We have moments when we’re doing ridiculous things and laying on the floor laughing like idiots and it's the most amazing thing ever. Having fun together is one of the most important things of any relationship.
5. Do things for each other.
This can mean a lot of things. Help them with homework. Surprise them with their favorite candy. Help them clean their house. Any little thing you can do for them out of kindness, and not expect to get anything back, really means a lot.
6. Check in with each other.
Make sure they're doing okay throughout the day. We're constantly asking each other “Are you okay?” and “Are you happy?” If they are, that's great. If not, do anything you can to fix it. It lets them know that you care and it makes them feel protected which is one of the most important things you can do for them.
7. Let go of expectations.
It's okay to have some expectations, of course you want them to be kind, treat you right, etc. But the unrealistic expectations are going to do more harm than good. Understand that you can't change them or expect them to do things outside of their ability and that okay. You should love them for who they are.
8. Be consistent.
We tend to think we're both pretty predictable people and it works for us because we know what to expect from each other. If you're jumping around to extremes, having multiple mood swings, and making things complicated between you then trust me, you're going to have more problems than you want to deal with.
9. Be there for each other.
No matter what. And I mean, no matter what. Whether it is something externally like school or family that's bothering you or you've hit a rough patch between the two of you personally, don't give up on each other because in the end you come out stronger and you realize that it was all worth it.
10. Remember why you're together in the first place.
When I first met him I thought he was the most genuine person I had ever known. When we first started going together, I realized that no one ever made me feel this comfortable, safe, or happy. That's true to this day and I constantly strive for it to continue to be true.
