1. Hand an employee a list and wait for them to find everything for you while you wait by the door.

Just because we get paid minimum wage doesn't mean we don't qualify as a personal shopper!

2. Choose your own path on how to get in line.

The signs are there as a distraction—you do you! Even if it means shoving past a small child!

3. Hide your Starbucks cups in the back of display shelves.

It’s so much easier than throwing them in the trashcan a yard away. Plus, nobody will ever find them if you do it well enough.

4. If you decide not to purchase your items, leave your cart in the middle of the aisle.

They'll put themselves back. They told us so.

5. Ask the manager if you can speak to the manager.

Maybe they'll forget their role and go get someone else.

6. If your item doesn't ring up at the register, ask if it's free.

Ha! We've never heard that one before!

7. Upset about the cost of an item? Yell at an employee about it.

We are the ones who set the prices after all.

8. If you can't afford an item, just walk out of the store with it.

9. Pull on the locked door after close not once, but seven times.

Don't even bother reading our hours which are right next to the handle you're wrangling.

10. And please shop for a small village right before close.

Because we get it--this isn't something you could have handled tomorrow or at the 24 hour store down the block.