I was recently at an ice cream place with my roommates (all five of them) for a birthday (happy birthday, Aliah!). We were excited. We had a late lunch and the place didn't "do birthdays" so we decided to get ice cream instead. We got there and waited in line, when someone walked in. He was an older man, and he asked me, "Wow, is that the line?"

I nodded, "Yeah." I looked down the line at my roommate, Shelbie, who was at the end. She smiled at me. What a cutie. The man then looked down the line, then stepped in front of my roommates and I.

I repeat: he stepped in front of my roommates and I. He cut us in line. At the time we were more confused than not (he even asked where the end of the line was) and we're over it now, but I thought I'd compile a list together for people who, like me, couldn't pull together the courage to tell that guy to fuck off and get to the end of the line.

1. Ask them why they're like this

Look this person dead in the eye and ask, "Why are you the way that you are?"

2. Throw something at them

If you're in line, chances are there are small items you can throw at them. Do that.

3. Ask them if their parent or guardian would be proud of this behavior

Seriously, just ask.

4. Tell a terrible knock knock joke about it

Turn to your friend and say, "Knock knock!" After they say, "Who's there?" Go on a long-winded rant about how frustrating it is when people cut you in line and about how you just want to be respected.

5. Channel your inner Michael Scott

"Noooooooooooooooooooooo. No God, please no"

6. "Go play in traffic"

This is pretty self explanatory.

7. Tell a long story

Just waste their time. Waste it all.

8. Make them uncomfortable

This will make your day better and their day worse. Win-win.

9. Tell them it's okay

Even if they didn't apologize. Especially if they didn't apologize.

10. Write a passive aggressive Odyssey article about it

@Me next time