You don't have a problem. You can stop any time you want, right? Wrong. Let's be honest, like a good majority of us, you're a straight up coffee addict. It's what gets you going in the morning, helps you push through those long days of "school, work, repeat," and quite frankly, it keeps you from physically harming others. So, as you sit there sipping your cup of Joe, take comfort in knowing that you're not alone in your loyal dedication to coffee consumption.
1. The day doesn’t start until you’ve had your first cup.
Whether it’s 7 a.m. or 2 p.m., nothing really gets done until you’ve had that first sip. Sure, you may be “awake” and trying to function, but you’re never truly alive until you’ve had your fix. True addicts understand that what’s running through your veins isn’t blood; it’s coffee.
2. Happy hour isn’t about cocktails; it’s about Dunkin Donuts 99 cent iced coffees.
Forget “it’s 5 o’clock somewhere” and bring on 3 p.m. You know it’s that time of day when the car line starts piling up outside of Dunkin Donuts. I mean, you can’t beat a deal like a large iced coffee with all the fixings for only 99 cents. It’s like an internal alarm that goes off inside of you when the clock strikes three. Without a doubt, you find yourself scrounging for a dollar, and headed to your favorite hot spot for coffee lovers ballin’ on a budget.
3. Your friends can tell when you haven’t had your daily caffeine intake.
It’s almost as if you are wearing a sign that says, “Caution, will bite when not properly caffeinated!” They know not to mess with you when you’ve ran out of k-cups or coffee grounds. Sometimes, they might even bring you your favorite java just to be nice. But, you know better. It’s really a form of self-defense.
4. “Let’s go get coffee!”
Whether it is a date, catching up with a friend, sheer boredom, or literally anything at all, you’re the first to suggest going to get a cup of coffee at your favorite local spot. I mean who doesn’t love everything about a coffee shop? The music, the coffee, the lighting, the atmosphere, the coffee, the people, the coffee—you can’t deny it’s your favorite place to be.
5. Decaf coffee just shouldn’t even exist.
But really, like why? Sure, for medical reasons it’s best to not ingest too much caffeine, but let’s be real—you need it. It is your life source. How else are you supposed to meet every deadline, attend every meeting, write every paper, etc.? Coffee is meant to be caffeinated, so please keep that icky other stuff away from the true addicts.
6. Not all coffee is created equal.
A real coffee connoisseur can weed out the Arabica from the Robusta beans. If you think drinking coffee is a game, it’s not. Things are taken very seriously by the real coffee drinkers. We prefer the best of the best, even if that means paying a little (or in some cases, a lot) extra for our favorite roasts. But when push comes to shove, we will drink whatever is available.
7. Every scented candle or air freshener is coffee related.
You can’t deny that nothing warms you up like the smell of hazelnut coffee. So why not buy it in every possible form available? Candles, air fresheners, car fresheners and sprays. If they sell it, you own it.
8. There’s no wrong time for a cup of joe.
“If you drink that now, you’ll be up all night!” Yeah, right. You’re a seasoned coffee drinker, and time of day has little relevance to your coffee drinking schedule. Basically, whenever you decide it’s time for that second or third cup of coffee, it’s acceptable. If someone tells you not to drink coffee at a certain hour, stop being friends with that person. You don’t need that kind of negativity in your life.
9. Coffee brings you and your friends together.
What better way to catch up, share gossip, talk about the stock market or whatever it is you do, than to do it over a cup of coffee? The answer is there is no better way, especially if your friends love coffee as much as you do. It’s a great way to take the time to reconnect with people. Not only does it warm your stomach, but your heart as well.
10. If over the years only one thing has remained, it’s your love of coffee.
Relationships will come and go, your career might change, your taste in music might flip-flop, but certainly not your love for that bittersweet juice. Your friends will buy you coffee related gifts, your family will get you that “coffee makes me poop” mug, and life will go on. Coffee will be your constant rock, always there to pick you up when you’re feeling down. So here’s to all the coffee addicts of the world, as you sit there downing your third cup of the day. Know you’re not alone because we love coffee just as much as you!
