After reading an article called “50 Signs You’re Dating a Basic B*tch,” I came to the conclusion that in the age of the hipster, one of the biggest insults is to be called “basic.”
Don’t worry; here are some tips on how to never be basic again.1. Don’t wear Uggs. Like, ever.
2. Don’t use the word ‘like’. Like, ever.
3. Don’t get caught dead at any sort of social gathering bigger than a few people at a local poetry reading. You’re way too cool for that.
4. Oh, you want that pumpkin spice latte from Starbucks? Nope, too basic. In fact, Starbucks itself is way too mainstream. Definitely off-limits.
5. Actually, coffee in general is too mainstream. Stick to Indian herbal tea.
6. Any Top 40s song is terrible. Try sticking to bands like Cymbals Eat Guitars or Half Man Half Biscuit.
7. If you ever feel like wearing tempos and a big T-shirt to class, don’t. You don’t want to be seen as blending in with everyone else, even if it is 90+ degrees, and you had 10 minutes to get ready. You can be late to your 8 a.m. if it means you can rock that vintage Tee, specifically bought second-hand jeans and maybe that pea coat to top off the look. Don’t worry. Only basic people get hot walking to class.
8. Never admit you want to visit Paris. Everyone wants to visit Paris. So overrated.
9. You can never watch a romantic comedy ever again. And if you do, complain about how unrealistic and stereotypical it is for the whole hour and thirty minutes.
10. Careful! It’s also basic to try too hard not to be basic. Don’t let anyone see you reading this, because obviously it means you’re basic.
So ladies, let’s take a second and think about this. Who doesn’t enjoy some Starbucks every once in a while (or maybe, if you’re like me, a few times a week)? Who doesn’t secretly jam out to Taylor Swift, the Biebs or Chris Brown on their way to a party? I don’t think this makes us basic at all. Underneath our uniform XL shirts, Nikes, and chacos, we are all different people with different interests, quirks, and personalities.
So to all you “basic” girls, keep doing you. The only truly “basic” people are the ones who hate on girls for how they dress, what they listen to and any other personal preference that is 100% their decision!
