If your best friend, significant other, family member or any other friend is introverted and usually pretty quiet, here are a few tips to help them feel more comfortable around you.
1. Respect their need for privacy and to spend time alone.
This is the first point for a reason! If you're prioritizing their privacy and need to spend some time alone then you're on the road to success. Introverts just need that time where they don't have to make conversation or be worried about how another person is doing in order to really thrive.
2. Be careful never to embarrass them in public.
Embarrassing anyone in public is kinda mean tbh but it's almost unforgivable in an introverts mind. I had a close friend one time who thought it was funny to put me on the spot in social situations in order to try and lighten the mood or help me to "loosen up." It just made me want to run and hide under a rock and never hang out with that friend in a group setting.
3. When they are in a new situation, allow them to stand back, and watch what’s going on.
New situations require a lot of energy and mental engagement so just give them a little bit of time to wrap their minds around what's going on. They'll be able to have more fun and contribute to the situation better once they get a handle on it.
4. Allow them time to process what you’re asking or saying. Don’t demand an answer right away.
This one may be a little frustrating for you but be patient. I promise the answer they've processed will be at least 95.75% more helpful and accurate for the situation.
5. Be patient if they hesitate to find the right words – and never interrupt while they are speaking.
Interrupting is rude. If they're trying hard to communicate what's going on in their head please don't interrupt them. You may think you're helping them out or being cute but it's almost as if you're telling them: "I don't really care about what you have to say about your world, I'm just using your words to make things more about myself." That kind of hurts y'all. If they're going to the effort of hanging out with you and making conversation then PLEASE listen to what they have to say.
6. If you are going to change or cancel plans, give them plenty of prior notice.
This is another common courtesy one but it definitely deserves emphasis. Changing or canceling plans with little to no prior notice shows them that you don't value their time. If you consistently do this then they won't want to invest their time in you anymore.
7. Allow them to practice and perfect skills alone.
It's much less embarrassing to fail in private than in public.
8. Correct or challenge them privately – never in front of an audience.
This one is similar to point number 2 but different because publicly embarrassing someone could potentially be a joke whereas correcting someone is always pointing out a flaw. If you think they're going to want to be vulnerable in front of you after you've highlighted their flaws in front of an audience then you better think twice.
9. Don’t force them to hang out with a crowd of people, or expect them to amass a lot of friends.
A few good friends is more comfortable for them. Trying to keep up with a crowd of people or a large friend group is exhausting for an introvert.
10. Don’t try to turn them into an extrovert. Respect them for being exactly who they are.
They are incredible the way they are. They have a unique point of view on the world and you're lucky to get to be their friend. Never try to change who they are and they will hopefully do the same for you! You're pretty freakin incredible whether you're an extrovert or an introvert and you wouldn't want someone to force you to change your natural preference. Extroversion is not necessarily better than introversion, the preferences are different yet equal. The contrast of the two can even enhance the positive aspects of each preference. An attitude that embraces and appreciates differences in relationships is an important part of every relationship because it takes a potentially disastrous mix of personalities and helps them complement each other.
