It's late. I'm tired. I'm regretting my laziness over the weekend, because my research paper (that I've known about for weeks) still isn't finished. Even though this assignment is due in a few hours, I'm getting distracted by these thoughts that occur every single time I try to crank out an essay:

1. Do I have any food in the fridge?

I mean sure I have food, if you count a bottle of Italian dressing, a piece of cold chicken from who knows when, and some questionable milk (the same things that were in there when I checked five minutes ago).

2. A snack sounds perfect right now.

I literally JUST ate 20 minutes ago. I miraculously concocted a meal out of the few items I had. I'm not hungry, I'm procrastinating. I'm eating to reward myself before I have a mental breakdown.

3. Do I really HAVE to finish this tonight?

Yes. It's due at 11:59 p.m., and it's 10:07 p.m.

4. How many ways can I repeat this same thought before my professor realizes I'm just trying to reach the page count?

*Makes header 6 lines long*

*Somehow turns a 5 word sentence into a complete paragraph*

5. Thank GOODNESS for the thesaurus.

We feel you, Joey Tribbiani.

6. Is it Friday yet?

No. It's 7:30 a.m. on Monday. I'm not even close.

7. In the real world I won't have to write papers.

No, but I will have to do my taxes and pay tons of bills every single month. Maybe this paper isn't as bad as I think.

8. Is this paper worth it?

Yes. I don't want to fail.

9. Is this class worth it?

Yes. A decent grade in this class is necessary if I want to graduate.

10. Is college worth it?

Again, yes. I just have to make it through some more papers (and the inevitable thoughts that occupy my mind while writing papers) a few more times.