10 Thoughts From A Pale Girl This Summer | The Odyssey Online
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Politics and Activism

10 Thoughts From A Pale Girl This Summer

I'm melting.

Morgan Little
May 30, 2017
Mississippi State University
10 Thoughts From A Pale Girl This Summer
China

What's up... Casper here. As summer is quickly approaching in full force, pale girls everywhere (including myself) will be burning to a crisp and becoming the butt of lobster jokes everywhere. If you've ever wondered what goes through a pale girl's mind during the summer, fasten your seatbelts and allow me to be your tour guide.

1. What's the highest SPF they offer?

Yes, I actually do own SPF 100.

2. Does this come in any color except white?

Contrary to popular belief, my goal is to avoid glowing in the dark.

3. Does this compliment my bright red skin?

Didn't think so

4. If it's possible for my eyelids to receive a sunburn, they definitely did.

Why do bad things happen to good people?

5. Since I burned earlier this year I will tan this time, right? Wrong.

A girl can dream.

6. As my sunburn turns into peeling skin, a snake is now my spirit animal.

I relate on a whole other level.

7. Were my ancestors this pale too?


Probably not.

8. I thought yellow was supposed to be a happy color...


... Basically.

9. At least cabana boys love me for funding their educations.

Keep the umbrellas coming boys.

10. I love you so much, sun. Why don't you love me?

Rude.

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