When I turned 10 I remember thinking that I was so cool and grown up because I hit double digits. I thought that that would be a new phase in my life and that I was totally above all that 9-year-old stuff. I was looking forward to being older, more free to do what I wanted, and do "cool older kid things."
Now I'm turning 20 and I don't feel that way anymore. I was perfectly comfortable being 19, even 18. To me, my 20s seem like a rather unnerving time. It's the decade I finish school (FOREVER), I'll need to get a job, and start facing the societal pressures of marriage and children (something I've been cleverly avoiding by using my personality and face to ward off potential mates). Mostly, though, I'm realizing all the things that I can't do or say anymore once I'm 20. It's going to be a strange new time and I know I won't be able to get away with as much as I used to.
1. You can't blame your mistakes on being a dumb teenager.
Not that I did this often, but it was an easy excuse. Accidentally burn your breakfast? Just a teenager. Backed your car into a trash can? New teenage driver. Don't know how taxes work? Smart parents help teenagers with their financial troubles, it's fine.
2. You can't befriend high schoolers.
Let's face it, the differences between you and your friends that were still in high school became obvious once you went to college. And being friends with them while you were going out at the same time they had to be home was kind of weird. It's time to let them go. Wait till you have the same experience again and then it'll be better.
3. You can't visit your high school anymore.
The first year of college, fine. First semester of sophomore year, okay. But you're twenty now. It's officially weird. Your friends are gone, some of your favorite teachers might be gone, too. Your life there is gone and you have a new one now.
4. You can't use "my mom said no" as an excuse.
Don't pretend that you didn't say this to people when you didn't feel like doing things. I suppose now you could just say "no," but that would require the confidence I don't have.
5. You can't cheap out on presents for bae.
I mean you're 20 so clearly you don't have a lot of money, but not being cheap doesn't mean inexpensive. Cheap means zero effort. You're an adult now, so you have to buckles down and be genuine with people, especially someone you're interested in.
6. You can't let bae be cheap.
Once again: cheap means no effort. They are an adult (because you're not friends with high schoolers anymore) and you're an adult. You've dealt with crap from baes before and frankly you know you're worth real effort now.
7. You can't force your parents to make your appointments.
I actually don't do this but I know that that's a struggle for people my age. So listen: it's not hard, just do it.
8. You can't justify friendships with "I'm in class with them."
Sure that's how you can become friends with people, but that can't be the sole reason anymore. You have to make genuine connections with people now. If you don't want to hang out with them, don't. Just because they are in class with you doesn't mean you have to like them.
9. You can't be a bystander.
Bystander meaning someone who ignores the crap other people do and say. Since you're twenty now, you know and have heard homophobic, racist, sexist, etc. crap from plenty of people. Before you might have just shrugged it off. But now you have a responsibility to put a stop to that.
10. You still can't drink (legally).
Not that I'm counting the down year and 28 days or anything, but it's just so close yet so far, you know?
Being 20 won't be the worst thing that's ever happened to me I guess. It's just that it's a lot more work that I didn't prepare myself for in the last 9 years.
Despite all of that though, I feel myself slightly excited just like 9-year old me was at the prospects of a new chapter in my life.
