after 10 years of marriage, here are 10 things I wish i knew before saying 'I do'

after 10 years of marriage, here are 10 things I wish i knew before saying 'I do'

A tool kit for your nuptials.


Marriage is one of the oldest institutions, if not the oldest recorded institutions out there. It dates all the way back to Adam and Eve, which predates the coming of Christ and the formation of the church.

But less and less people are choosing to opt into this institution. Reports do show good news, however, that the divorce rates have stayed stagnant teetering ≈800K (3.2/1000). Marriage when done right can be the most beautiful union that exists because you build and grow a life together, with shared, dreams, values and even children (should you wish together).

But here are 10 things that every person should know before entering into the unity/sanctity of marriage:

1. The race is not for the swift

I know this is probably happening less and less but societal pressures have historically told women, you have to be married by your mid twenties or no one will want you when you are older. There will be newer models i.e. younger females in their twenties that will be more attractive to the men of your age. And while they age too, they are more desirable than you. It's this kind of chauvinistic crap that has had women rush into incompatible marriages that have for some devastating consequences for years to come.

2. You can't change him (or her)

Why do we always think as women, he'll change for me. He is a horrible father but he will be a great father to "my kids". He never pays his bills on time but he will pay my bills. He cheated on all his past girlfriends but he won't cheat on me because I am "special". Ladies, and in some cases gents, when they show you their real selves, believe them the first time.

3. Know thyself

As one ages, you really start to know yourself. What you will and will not tolerate. I believe that this is the best time to get married when you really know yourself.

4. Grow together

But if you do get married young like me, you have to be willing to grown and change together. Get to know each other anew with each new phase of your lives.

5. Be flexible

When you are joined in matrimony, you win together. You can't just be concerned about your win. If one wins, the other loses, you have to learn to compromise and be flexible without losing yourself. It's a fine balance.

6. Your wedding day is not for you

My sister once told me, my wedding wasn't for me. I thought what. It's for your guest to enjoy. You hardly remember the day. It can be so stressful. So just put yourself in the frame of mind that you are just here to serve others, and you will be just fine.

7. The wedding day is just one day

In the same token, it is just one day. You can spend thousands, hundreds of thousands for the day and forget about the there and after. So spend your money, your time and your plans wisely. Its one day out of the rest of your lives together.

8. Pray together

I can not say this enough. It's important to share the same value system and believe in the same or very similar things at its core value so pray together, pray together, pray together.

9. Have shared visions and goal

Have a shared vision or goal for you marriage. And as you grown and change together make sure you update it from the get go.

10. Start as you mean to go on.

Be a united front. Make decisions together and don't undermine your spouse by making decisions without their input. You should aim to do this before you even get married.

The most important thing is that marriage shouldn't be taken lightly. When you choose to enter into it, you should go in with the mentality "till death do us part" not till divorce do us part.

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I'm A Woman And You Can't Convince Me Breastfeeding In Public Is OK In 2019

Sorry, not sorry.


Lately, I have seen so many people going off on social media about how people shouldn't be upset with mothers breastfeeding in public. You know what? I disagree.

There's a huge difference between being modest while breastfeeding and just being straight up careless, trashy and disrespectful to those around you. Why don't you try popping out a boob without a baby attached to it and see how long it takes for you to get arrested for public indecency? Strange how that works, right?

So many people talking about it bring up the point of how we shouldn't "sexualize" breastfeeding and seeing a woman's breasts while doing so. Actually, all of these people are missing the point. It's not sexual, it's just purely immodest and disrespectful.

If you see a girl in a shirt cut too low, you call her a slut. If you see a celebrity post a nude photo, you call them immodest and a terrible role model. What makes you think that pulling out a breast in the middle of public is different, regardless of what you're doing with it?

If I'm eating in a restaurant, I would be disgusted if the person at the table next to me had their bare feet out while they were eating. It's just not appropriate. Neither is pulling out your breast for the entire general public to see.

Nobody asked you to put a blanket over your kid's head to feed them. Nobody asked you to go feed them in a dirty bathroom. But you don't need to basically be topless to feed your kid. Growing up, I watched my mom feed my younger siblings in public. She never shied away from it, but the way she did it was always tasteful and never drew attention. She would cover herself up while doing it. She would make sure that nothing inappropriate could be seen. She was lowkey about it.

Mindblowing, right? Wait, you can actually breastfeed in public and not have to show everyone what you're doing? What a revolutionary idea!

There is nothing wrong with feeding your baby. It's something you need to do, it's a part of life. But there is definitely something wrong with thinking it's fine to expose yourself to the entire world while doing it. Nobody wants to see it. Nobody cares if you're feeding your kid. Nobody cares if you're trying to make some sort of weird "feminist" statement by showing them your boobs.

Cover up. Be modest. Be mindful. Be respectful. Don't want to see my boobs? Good, I don't want to see yours either. Hard to believe, I know.

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Why You Should Attend The University of South Florida

Why The University of South Florida is the best school to go to.


Now before anyone says anything, yes I know I am biased. That's the whole point! The University of South Florida is truly an amazing institution. The campus is big, but not overwhelming. Trees and plants cover the grounds and create a very peaceful feel as you walk around campus. The buildings are modern looking, our facilities are advanced, and there is a sense of openness to the layout of everything. there are no confined or small areas, the whole campus is an open floorplan.

Additionally, the diversity rate of USF is incredibly high. there are people from all areas of life that come here and join the herd. We are unique in the sense that you never truly know who you'll run into as you go around campus. I have not had one negative interaction with anyone on campus. People are open-minded and allow you to be yourself. There is a constant feeling of kindness in the air, and not just from students. The professors are caring, the staff members are kind, and the janitorial staff members are some of the sweetest individuals I have ever met. You are always met with a smile.

USF also is in a great city, Tampa! There is so much to do in close proximity to the school. It's really quite amazing everything you can do. Down the street is Busch Gardens, across the street is MOSI, and Universal and Disney are only an hour drive East! There are also multiple restaurants around and shopping centers as well. the campus is clean, safe, inviting, and so much more. And if that wasn't enough to convince you, we also have our very own Publix! You cannot get much better than that!

Overall, USF is an amazing school that has amazing opportunities. If you are unsure of where to go, I would recommend coming up and taking a tour here. I absolutely love this school. GO BULLS!

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