after 10 years of marriage, here are 10 things I wish i knew before saying 'I do'

after 10 years of marriage, here are 10 things I wish i knew before saying 'I do'

A tool kit for your nuptials.

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Marriage is one of the oldest institutions, if not the oldest recorded institutions out there. It dates all the way back to Adam and Eve, which predates the coming of Christ and the formation of the church.

But less and less people are choosing to opt into this institution. Reports do show good news, however, that the divorce rates have stayed stagnant teetering ≈800K (3.2/1000). Marriage when done right can be the most beautiful union that exists because you build and grow a life together, with shared, dreams, values and even children (should you wish together).

But here are 10 things that every person should know before entering into the unity/sanctity of marriage:

1. The race is not for the swift

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I know this is probably happening less and less but societal pressures have historically told women, you have to be married by your mid twenties or no one will want you when you are older. There will be newer models i.e. younger females in their twenties that will be more attractive to the men of your age. And while they age too, they are more desirable than you. It's this kind of chauvinistic crap that has had women rush into incompatible marriages that have for some devastating consequences for years to come.

2. You can't change him (or her)

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Why do we always think as women, he'll change for me. He is a horrible father but he will be a great father to "my kids". He never pays his bills on time but he will pay my bills. He cheated on all his past girlfriends but he won't cheat on me because I am "special". Ladies, and in some cases gents, when they show you their real selves, believe them the first time.

3. Know thyself

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As one ages, you really start to know yourself. What you will and will not tolerate. I believe that this is the best time to get married when you really know yourself.

4. Grow together

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But if you do get married young like me, you have to be willing to grown and change together. Get to know each other anew with each new phase of your lives.

5. Be flexible

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When you are joined in matrimony, you win together. You can't just be concerned about your win. If one wins, the other loses, you have to learn to compromise and be flexible without losing yourself. It's a fine balance.

6. Your wedding day is not for you

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My sister once told me, my wedding wasn't for me. I thought what. It's for your guest to enjoy. You hardly remember the day. It can be so stressful. So just put yourself in the frame of mind that you are just here to serve others, and you will be just fine.

7. The wedding day is just one day

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In the same token, it is just one day. You can spend thousands, hundreds of thousands for the day and forget about the there and after. So spend your money, your time and your plans wisely. Its one day out of the rest of your lives together.

8. Pray together

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I can not say this enough. It's important to share the same value system and believe in the same or very similar things at its core value so pray together, pray together, pray together.

9. Have shared visions and goal

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Have a shared vision or goal for you marriage. And as you grown and change together make sure you update it from the get go.

10. Start as you mean to go on.

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Be a united front. Make decisions together and don't undermine your spouse by making decisions without their input. You should aim to do this before you even get married.


The most important thing is that marriage shouldn't be taken lightly. When you choose to enter into it, you should go in with the mentality "till death do us part" not till divorce do us part.

Cover Image Credit:

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