after 10 years of marriage, here are 10 things I wish i knew before saying 'I do'

after 10 years of marriage, here are 10 things I wish i knew before saying 'I do'

A tool kit for your nuptials.

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Marriage is one of the oldest institutions, if not the oldest recorded institutions out there. It dates all the way back to Adam and Eve, which predates the coming of Christ and the formation of the church.

But less and less people are choosing to opt into this institution. Reports do show good news, however, that the divorce rates have stayed stagnant teetering ≈800K (3.2/1000). Marriage when done right can be the most beautiful union that exists because you build and grow a life together, with shared, dreams, values and even children (should you wish together).

But here are 10 things that every person should know before entering into the unity/sanctity of marriage:

1. The race is not for the swift

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I know this is probably happening less and less but societal pressures have historically told women, you have to be married by your mid twenties or no one will want you when you are older. There will be newer models i.e. younger females in their twenties that will be more attractive to the men of your age. And while they age too, they are more desirable than you. It's this kind of chauvinistic crap that has had women rush into incompatible marriages that have for some devastating consequences for years to come.

2. You can't change him (or her)

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Why do we always think as women, he'll change for me. He is a horrible father but he will be a great father to "my kids". He never pays his bills on time but he will pay my bills. He cheated on all his past girlfriends but he won't cheat on me because I am "special". Ladies, and in some cases gents, when they show you their real selves, believe them the first time.

3. Know thyself

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As one ages, you really start to know yourself. What you will and will not tolerate. I believe that this is the best time to get married when you really know yourself.

4. Grow together

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But if you do get married young like me, you have to be willing to grown and change together. Get to know each other anew with each new phase of your lives.

5. Be flexible

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When you are joined in matrimony, you win together. You can't just be concerned about your win. If one wins, the other loses, you have to learn to compromise and be flexible without losing yourself. It's a fine balance.

6. Your wedding day is not for you

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My sister once told me, my wedding wasn't for me. I thought what. It's for your guest to enjoy. You hardly remember the day. It can be so stressful. So just put yourself in the frame of mind that you are just here to serve others, and you will be just fine.

7. The wedding day is just one day

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In the same token, it is just one day. You can spend thousands, hundreds of thousands for the day and forget about the there and after. So spend your money, your time and your plans wisely. Its one day out of the rest of your lives together.

8. Pray together

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I can not say this enough. It's important to share the same value system and believe in the same or very similar things at its core value so pray together, pray together, pray together.

9. Have shared visions and goal

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Have a shared vision or goal for you marriage. And as you grown and change together make sure you update it from the get go.

10. Start as you mean to go on.

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Be a united front. Make decisions together and don't undermine your spouse by making decisions without their input. You should aim to do this before you even get married.


The most important thing is that marriage shouldn't be taken lightly. When you choose to enter into it, you should go in with the mentality "till death do us part" not till divorce do us part.

Cover Image Credit:

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Netflix broke everyone's heart and then stitched them back together within a matter of 12 hours the other day.

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The Real Reason Millennials Seem So Indecisive To Old Folks' Untrained Eyes

Because the old people don't understand.

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So, it's 2018, right? But for whatever reason, older people still think we're supposed to stay in one job that we don't even like until we die because "it's the right thing to do." How can something that isn't stimulating, or mentally or physically fulfilling be the right thing to do in any situation?

Also, if a job isn't paying you nearly enough, go find another one. Education is expensive and you should be paid what you're worth. The degree you paid for should earn you a decent salary.

The fact that you have to have a degree to do most jobs now is something older generations don't understand. Before, you could just drop out of school at like 16 and find work. Now, sometimes a bachelors degree isn't enough! And they don't get that struggle.

Getting into college used to be much less competitive. You basically got to choose where you wanted to go, not the other way around. Also, you could go through four years of college for what one semester costs nowadays. As I said, going to college for older people wasn't a priority, for us, it's a necessity.

Employers also usually hate people who have had "too many" jobs in a short period of time, but they don't know where you worked before. Maybe it was a terrible work environment and you didn't feel needed or safe there. Maybe you had to move for financial reasons. There are a lot of reasons people leave jobs. And I would think employers would be more impressed that a person can find multiple jobs and get hired rather than being upset because they keep leaving.

Another thing older people think is that millennials are lazy and just use their phones all the time. But in high school, older people could slack off, didn't have to go to college, would still be fine, and didn't have any technology.

Now we have AP, IB, and dual credit classes, GPA's stress students out, applying for college and getting accepted is a whole show. Getting through college is stressful; finding internships, making sure you can afford all the things, applying for scholarships. Finally, you graduate and get your degree only to not be guaranteed a job. Not to mention stress about student loans, living arrangements, and the list goes on. But sure we're lazy.

Also, a lot of teenagers now and when I was in high school don't have jobs in high school because after the whole recession happened, older people started taking those jobs when they lost their high-paying ones. Also, basically every job wants experience now, but you can't gain experience if no one will hire you. So, don't call us lazy for not taking jobs that you stole from us.

And... we have to know how to work all technology?

Use social media for most jobs?

And fix phones for old people but we're on our phones too much?

Interesting that you say that... I think we deserve to be on our phones after the stress of high school, college and trying to find a job that pays us enough to cover the cost of a place to live, food, gas, a car and more.

I'm not trying to say that there's anything wrong with the way things were done before. I'm just saying that millennials deserve a little more respect than they get from older generations.

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