While I am often called cold hearted, the truth is I'm actually just cold blooded. If you are with me in your hatred of being cold you share my dread at the impending winter. You are frantically pulling your coats out of storage and piling blankets on your bed. The crawl of goosebumps on your skin is one of the worst feelings you can endure and you know that as soon as the winter starts you'll be unhappy until spring takes over.
1. You love summer.
While some complain about the heat, you bask in the sunshine. You drive around with the windows down, and you enjoy every sweat drenched second of being warm. You don't "pray for winter" or "hope for fall". You wish summer was a never ending phenomenon.
2. You're engaged in a secret battle with your housemates over the thermostat.
When someone asks in the group chat who turned the heat up, you ignore it. Because you know damn well it was you. Nobody should have to wake up and walk on cold bathroom tiles, that should be considered cruel and unusual punishment and only used in interrogation. You were the first person to turn the heat on as soon as it dropped in the 50s, and you have no shame.
3. There is always a sweatshirt in your car.
Your friends might make jokes and complain about the extra closet in your backseat, but guess who never complains about being cold whenever we go to a restaurant or the movies (if you guessed me you're correct). You are never caught unprepared for a sudden drop in temperature because you have multiple hoodies waiting in your car.
4. There is no such thing as "too many sweats."
When your mom asks "Don't you have enough sweats" you just answer with "the limit does not exist". Very little rivals the feeling of wearing sweatpants and a sweatshirt. Its like a wearable blanket that isn't as ridiculous as the snuggie! You're all cocooned in fleece and protected from the chill of an air conditioner or the cruel outside.
5. You have multiple blankets on your bed.
Because sometimes one just isn't enough. There is no such thing as too many blankets, that's like accusing someone of having a bed that is too comfy...
6. You also have a blanket in every common area of your house.
Because you sit on the couch and watch TV you need a blanket for when you're in the living room. And doing homework in a cold kitchen is unpleasant so you keep one folded over the back of a chair. You might have a few designated blankets when you're in someone else's room watching tv or having a deep and meaningful, and your significant other knows that while it may be technically "their blanket" when you're over at their place, it's yours.
7. Heated Seats are a gift from above.
Running from a warm house through a cold yard into a warming up car is nice, but nothing beats the feeling of sliding into a seat that's toasty on your buns. You crank the heated seats whenever you're riding passenger in a friend's car on a cold day, and even as they turn down their own you leave yours at full blASSt (see what I did there)
8. Sometimes you just stay in a warm shower because the thought of getting out is traumatizing.
After you've encapsulated your bathroom in steam and taken care of all your hygienic needs in the shower you stay in your little alcove of the tropics. Because you know as soon as you turn off the shower, and open that bathroom door you'll be hit with cold air and your body just refuses to be put through that kind of goosebump laden trauma. So you sit on the floor of your shower and just let the hot water run out.
9. If an outdoor activity is occurring in below 50 degrees, bring out the layers.
You want to go to a football game, fine. You want to go to a 45-degree football game, please let me pack the supplies. Which includes but is not limited to, a cold gear bottom layer (think fleece lined compression tops and leggings) long sleeves and pants, an outer coat, and a blanket. Stuffed into every pocket are packets of hand warmers and foot warming boot liners. There is no playing around, you will not acclimate, you will fight the cold.
10. True Love is when someone sits on your feet.
When you have cold feet and you're on the couch or sitting on a bed with someone and you ask them to sit on your feet because they are cold and they say yes, you are enveloped with a feeling of gratitude, appreciation, and just plain love for the person willing to subject their buns to the popsicles that are your feet. As their body heat slowly warms your little piggies you realize what a great sacrifice they made for your comfort and you are eternally grateful.
I don't trust people that "love the cold" or "wish it was winter". Guess what Elsa... the cold DID bother me anyway!!!
