As someone who loves the beach, wants to live by the beach, and be at the beach every second of every day, it is hard for me to find anything wrong with the sandy oasis. But unfortunately, even for a beach lover as myself, there are still some pesky problems we have to suffer through to get that great tan and salt water bath.
1. The burnt bottoms of your feet as you travel across the "Sahara Desert" to reach your blanket
Yay, you have made it to the beach; now you must rough it for the difficult walk in flip-flops across the sand or take them off and receive third-degree burns on your feet. It feels like you are walking on literal lava and eventually you are sprinting while yelling, "Ouch, hot, ouch" right into the 60-degree ocean.
2. The sandy butt
The sand is great, relaxing, and feels great on your skin until it gets caught in your bathing suit bottom. And when you stand up, it looks like you have a full diaper. To get rid of this sandy problem, your result is the ocean, but that leads to number 3 on this list...
3. Trying to subtly get the sand out of your butt without looking like you are picking a wedgie
We all know that awkward moment where you move around your bathing suit bottom to wash all the sand out of your bathing suit. But you don't want to go all the way in. So we all try to do the subtle squat and look like we're trying to cool off when we're actually trying to just get our butt in the ocean.
4. Seagulls crouching on your territory
Seagulls have taken over the beach, and the moment you have food they begin to swarm. I once had a seagull steal a hot dog from me mid bite. They are fearless creatures who will not let anything get between them and food.
5. Sand getting in your food
Nothing is worse than a gust of wind blowing sand directly into the sandwich you are eating. All of a sudden, you feel the sand in between your teeth. Crunch, crunch, crunch. Just thinking about it gives me chills.
6. Reading a book while sun tanning
You lie down ready to get a little tanning in with that summer cheesy romance novel you have been saving for the beach. You have the sunglasses ready, but then you lie down with your book. You have to hold it at a perfect angle to avoid the blinding sunlight and eventually your arms get tired. Then you get hot and are only three pages in before you have to take a dip in the ocean.
7. Sandy flip-flop feet
You're officially ready to leave the beach and you put your sandy feet into your flip-flops once you hit the boardwalk. Enough said--you all know the uncomfortable feeling I am referring to.
8. Two words: bathing suits
Shopping for bathing suits sucks. Wearing a bathing suit sucks. Dieting to fit into said bathing suit sucks. Let's be real here: bathing suits are not comfortable.
9. Escaping the ocean
I love the ocean. It is so relaxing and the water feels so good on a hot day. But my least favorite part is not being able to escape the ocean when you are ready for a break. If you are not fast enough, you will be eating sand. If you don't time your exit correctly, you might not make it out at all.
10. Sunburn
Spent the whole day applying and reapplying sunscreen. Made sure to spend some time in the shade to ensure you don't burn to a crisp. Yet you get home, look in the mirror, and the sunburn is there. There is no escaping the inevitable sunburn that will come after a day at the beach.
Despite all these dreaded things about the beach it is still my favorite place to be. There is nothing like a day at the beach to put a smile on my face! It is relaxing and the one place I always want to be.
