Mental illness is real, and it should be addressed as such. I can’t slap a Band-Aid on it any more than I could put one on a broken arm or a bullet hole, and although it may not seem as severe as its comparisons, pain is pain and we all experience it in different ways. To assume that one can just “get over” something that they have no control over is a little extreme. If you went to a doctor’s office for cancer or a gaping wound, no one would tell you to get over it or to stop bleeding everywhere. The treatment of a mental situation should be approached in the same way that a physician would treat any physical ailment.

I am in no way a medical professional and I do not claim to be, but in my experiences with mental illness, I can tell you that it feels more physical than mental most of the time. When I was in my early teens, I was diagnosed with major depression (no that does not mean that I have crazy, serious, out-there depression) as well as panic anxiety syndrome in my later teens. It was tough getting through the days and finding people who I could trust, and that is a situation that a lot of people are put in. Not everyone wants to believe that mental issues are real. That is why I’ve come up with a list of 10 things that are a must know about people that have anxiety. Now, I am not saying that this will apply to everyone because everyone experiences things differently; however, that doesn’t mean that there aren’t some similarities in symptoms and reactions. Hopefully, this helps to enlighten and awaken some on the truth about anxiety.

• 1.Hearing phrases like: “It’s not that big of a deal”, “relax, you’re overreacting”, and “It could be worse” are not comforting at all. Those kinds of phrases can and will make things worse by sending the panic into a spiral in the opposite direction of what was intended. Upon hearing this, a flood of emotions sweeps over a person. Suddenly, they could feel judged, ashamed, unimportant, vulnerable, or even humiliated. When someone comes to you about this, don’t turn to the generic response of “oh that sucks”. Instead, tell them that you may not understand but you are willing to sit there with them in any way that they need you. Sometimes a person in panic just needs silence or a comforting embrace. While doing this, it is important to refrain from making noises or gestures that show any sign of judgment or boredom. The last thing that someone wants to feel like is a burden because of their problem.
• 2.Symptoms of a panic attack can mimic those of a heart attack or an asthma attack. Signs such as heart palpitations, staggered breathing, loss of breath, lightheadedness, conscious dizziness, hot flashes, feelings of being trapped, fidgeting limbs, and tingling fingers are all symptoms that can mean panic. When these symptoms arise and it is unclear as to what is happening, it’s time to panic in a sense. There have been times that I thought I rushed to the ER thinking that I was having an asthma attack when it was just a really bad anxiety attack.
• 3.Panic attacks have many triggers. It is unclear as to what causes a panic attack. Sometimes they can be set off by incidents that remind a person of a traumatic experience. Other times, they can be set off by sad things in movies/tv shows, an argument/disagreement, a small failure, stress, and pressure. There are many other triggers as well, but they are specific to the person experiencing the attack.
• 4.Attacks can happen at random, and in the most uncomfortable moments. This one is the fun part, she said sarcastically. I can’t pinpoint or track when or where an attack will happen. Sometimes there aren’t any symptoms that stand out with a big sign to let you know that you are about to have an attack. Sometimes, I’ll be happy and active until I get the sudden urge to sit down or lay down and just stay quiet. Sometimes I just daydream and get lost in the swirling vortex of my thoughts, and other times I will be very irritable and easily aggravated. This happens when I’m at work, or at school, or even driving. It can be crippling.
• 5.Panic anxiety disorder and panic anxiety syndrome can be caused by traumas or chemical imbalances in the brain. The moment that an attack happens, I have been told that I am being over dramatic or causing extra stress for myself. But why would I want to make myself feel this way, and it won’t get me any attention, at least not any positive attention. These events are uncontrolled to the person who falls victim to them, and in most cases, it has to be resolved through therapy, medication or a combination of both and even then it doesn’t always work.
• 6.They are uncontrollable and have to run their course once they begin. There is no telling how long an attack will last. Most of the time, they don’t last very long and are over quickly, but when they aren’t things can get a bit choppy. Mood swings run rampant, and the person experiencing the attack could become violent, self-destructive, or extremely depressed. Typically when an attack is over, the body numbs itself and a person can become very tired and remorseful. So much energy is spent mentally, emotionally, and sometimes physically that one has to rest and recover.
• 7. People with anxiety disorders can have long-lasting and fulfilling relationships. It is a myth that people with any kind of mental disorder can’t have lasting relationships. I admit that I have had failed relationships due to partners becoming frustrated, but I can also admit to meeting someone who gets frustrated but also does everything in his power to learn and understand it to keep me safe from myself. In order to have a lasting and fulfilling partnership, the steady hand of the two has to understand that when things go wrong it isn’t their fault. They must also understand that working on these issues does take time and the emotions experienced don’t work like a switch that can be flipped on and off. The steady hand is a beacon in a sea of uncertainty. People going through attacks need constants in their lives that they can feel in control of. Now, that’s not saying that they need to control their significant other, but they need stability that they can control in times where they think they can’t control anything. We don’t use our partners as a crutch, but more as a guide or a role model to keep us motivated to better ourselves for ourselves and them. When this is laid out and trust is attained, which can be a very difficult process, the relationship can flourish and the person suffering can learn to trust and accept themselves for who they are.
• 8. It is a good idea to finish arguments or disagreements when they occur, because leaving someone to stew over that can cause adverse effects.
• 9. Depression and anxiety disorders go hand in hand. Both issues can be caused by traumas and chemical imbalances of the mind. Typically, a person with depression will face anxiety based issues at least one time in their battle for control, and a lack of control during an anxiety attack can cause a moment of depression.
• 10. People with anxiety disorders are people too, who are just trying to get by like everyone else. We all were taught that we were special individuals that should embrace our uniqueness, but when do we draw that line that says this unique quality makes you too different, and that being different on that level is wrong. We are living life in the best way that we can, just like everyone else. Yes, it can get messy and things won’t always go as planned, but that happens to everyone at least once in their life. We are supposed to help each other to embrace our flaws and use them to our advantage, not tear one another down to keep the societal peace. We are society, and we need to fix these “rules and regulations”. Together, by learning what we must about anxiety syndromes and other mental illnesses, we will only unify ourselves that much further.