There are so many things that I have found that hurt me in one way or another as a black woman. We are often times so eager to hide behind our bright smiles and our strength that we refuse to say anything about what hurts us. This is just a few things that I have been hurt by over the years.
1. Seeing our Black Men Shot and Killed for being innocent
There have been too many instances where our father/brother/cousin or friend have been killed for being black. "I feared for my life" is no longer an appropriate excuse because majority of the time the men being killed are not armed and are just going back their usual day. This hurts because these black men are a part of our communities. For some of us they may be all we have so to see one of our own shot and killed for just the color of their skin hurts.
2. Being called "pretty for a black woman"
What exactly do you mean "you're pretty for a black woman"? There are so many misconceptions about black women and our melanated skin that it has began to get uncomfortable. I am not "pretty for a black woman" I'm pretty because I'm pretty and it is a shame that it has to be corrected.
3. Our men preferring our hair to be straight
My hair is not straight because I prefer to rock my natural curls. My hair could be straightened but it's clearly not on your head so it shouldn't matter if it was or wasn't. Do not try and appropriate a different culture on us because we prefer our curls. Just let us be.
4. Being told "corn rows are not appropriate" but white women being celebrated for wearing "boxer braids"
Years ago wearing "corn rows" was a black person thing. Our children rocked them, our moms rocked them, our men rocked them. Then along came some of the white famous people rocking them and poof "boxer braids" are cool. What in the heck is a boxer braid other than a corn row? Nothing. It is the same thing.
5. What exactly is "nappy"?
Nappy should not even be used. Some textures of hair are courser than others and some curl patterns are tighter as well. However, your hair is not nappy. My little cousin goes to a predominantly white elementary school and she is having a hard time trying to figure out why her hair doesn't "hang" like the white girls hair. I believe in some way our society has made it hard for parents to teach their little black princesses that their hair is beautiful in its natural state. Tightly coiled or loose and wavy there is nothing nappy about it.
6. Our young Princesses not loving the color of their skin
Dear Princess, your skin is beautiful. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being black. I understand that you may get picked on for being darker than the rest but, your skin is still beautiful. I understand that you're scared because of everything that is going on in our world against our race, but still your skin is beautiful. You're stuck with it for the rest of your life so learn to love it.
7. Being told certain clothing is inappropriate when we wear it
What do you mean I can't wear shorts to class? Our shapes as Black Women are majority of the time curvy. The younger generations go to school and see other races walking around with big shirts on and tiny shorts. The issue is we're not shaped like them so certain things they wear will fit differently on us. But it does hurt to be sent home for your outfit when another girl from another race has on the same thing and doesn't get sent home for it.
8. "Light skin" vs. "dark skin"
No matter how many times your mom tells you that your skin is beautiful there will always be this notion of "light skin" vs. "dark skin". Get over yourselves, PLEASE! Light skin and dark skin will not make you any more prettier or perfect than you are. And if I hear another man say "you're pretty for a dark skin girl" I have the right mind to hit him.
9. Ghetto vs. watch this
There are so many things tha t we as black people are judged for that white people do and get away with. What do you mean my shorts are too small? Does she not have on the same exact shorts? What do you mean my blue lipstick is ghetto? Is she not wearing the same brand and same color? This is what I call "Ghetto vs. watch this". We are judged by what we wear, the things we say, and the things we do but when someone else does it in a different race everything is fine and they are celebrated for it.
10. Are we invisible
We're looked over so many times for so many things. If your mom named you anything with a apostrophe in it you're some times looked over for jobs, but it shouldn't matter what your parents named you but the skills on your resume. Walking into Victoria's Secret a few months ago I realized how invisible we seem to be compared to another race. I walked in one door and saw nobody and I wasn't greeted either; however, two white girls walked in and were immediately greeted with handshakes and welcoming smiles. Why am I treated as if I am invisible? Can you not see me?
