Recently, I tore my ACL. As a college athlete, this is something I never would have wanted or expected. I would never wish this injury on my worst enemy; but it happens. Here are 10 things that I have seen, noticed, or come to realize while having a torn ACL.
1. You realize that you took walking normally for granted.
I couldn't walk at all for the first 3 days when I tore my ACL. Although it was mostly because I hurt my MCL and had a bone bruise as well, walking became impossible. Going up the steps to the bathroom took me five minutes the first time, and after that I decided to sit on my butt and shuffle up the steps instead of trying to walk up the steps. Now that I am walking, I look like a zombie from The Walking Dead with the limp that I've got going on.
2. Getting dressed becomes a long procedure.
I'm the type of girl who can normally get ready in five minutes. With a torn ACL, it takes me about five minutes to get to the other side of my room to grab my sports bra and socks. The absolute worst part of getting dressed with a torn ACL is probably putting on your socks and shoes. I could barely reach down enough without pain to put my socks on, and then I have to struggle to wiggle my foot into my shoe?! My leg was so swollen the first few days that my foot looked like a sausage and my shoes didn't even fit. To be honest, I had to have someone help me put on my socks and shoes for a few days.
3. Adults look at you with pity.
You get the sad looks from every adult you see. Its inevitable. If you're going to class, going to the store, or going out with friends, you will definitely get sad stares from anyone who understands what you've done.
4. Children look at you like you're a cyborg or robot.
They stare at the big black brace on your leg wondering what it is. In the grocery store, you hear them as their parents "mom, what is wrong with that girl?" Their parents try to quiet them down and get them to stop staring, but it doesn't work. Sometimes, parents don't even notice their child staring at you like your leg is going to attack them. It's quite funny sometimes to see how scared kids are of the brace.
5. The big black--knee brace (and crutches).
If you've ever torn your ACL, you know this as the torture device that you live with for months. When I first got my knee brace, my athletic trainer set me at 30 degrees of flexion (meaning I can only bend my knee up to 30 degrees). I was so miserable. After a few days, she moved me to 90 degrees so that I could get my knee moving a bit. I was so excited that I could finally move my leg a little! Then about an hour later, I went to the orthopedic and he put my brace at full extension (meaning I can't bend my leg at all). Needless to say, my happiness was short-lived. The brace becomes your best friend, and worst enemy. You know it holds your knee together and prevents you from further injury, but at the same time, it is so dang itchy and uncomfortable (on top of being huge and ugly). The crutches are so uncomfortable, and will never be fun to have. I put ninja turtle stuffed animals on the armpit pads, and I bedazzled them with little jewels (not shown below). I figured if I was going to be stuck with them for a while, I might as well make them my own.
6. You spend hours in bed crying.
We hate to admit it. Especially if you're a college athlete like I am, you hate the feeling of weakness. Your torn ACL has you feeling like you are at Rock Bottom. Maybe you are, but Rock Bottom is somewhere you bounce back from. You have to quickly learn that this is just a bump in your road to success. You will be seriously depressed for a while, but you can't let it get to you. Don't let the injury defeat you, because you will come back stronger.
7. You quickly realize who is actually "here for you."
When your injury first happens, everyone will say "if you need anything, I'm here for you." It takes about two days before you realize how untrue that is. Your roommates and friends have lives, and that doesn't involve staying at your house to help you. There will be very few people who are actually there for you almost any time you need it, and you need to cherish those people every day.
8. You should probably get over your fear of surgery.
I'm not scared of many things, but my top 3 fears as an athlete have always been spiders (who isn't scared of those?), tearing my ACL, and surgery. Anything can happen during surgery, which you know if you watch Grey's Anatomy. There could be complications, something could go wrong, or it might not even be fixed properly. I never wanted to join the club of people who have to get cut open and fixed, then sewed back together; but I will be joining that club very soon.
9. Rehab is life.
By the third day, I was being told that I need to try and get my leg all the way around on a bike soon. I couldn't even get my leg halfway around! I still can't get it all the way around the bike, but recovery and rehab takes time. I did so much therapy with my knees to prevent an ACL tear, and here I was months later doing "prehab" (pre-surgery rehab) on my torn ACL. I know that I will be doing rehab on my knee for a very long time to come.
10. Every athletic training major that you know is curious.
Because I live in the athletic training room now, all I get from the interns and athletic trainers is "how did you do it, if you don't mind me asking?" They all love hearing it for some sick reason. They love hearing about the "plant and twist" or "jump and land wrong" stories. I feel like it makes their day sometimes.
