I don't really hate anything. I feel that if I use the word "hate," then there is no chance of ever liking that said person or thing. It just doesn't seem fair to me. The world is full of possibilities, so why close off some things in life by hating them? Anyway, I tend to strongly dislike things. While sitting in my chair at my desk, I thought of ten things that I strongly dislike. Boy oh boy, do I strongly dislike these things. I was getting pretty upset in my chair, so I decided to vent on The Odyssey. So here it is: Ten things I strongly dislike.
1. Names of Vape Flavors
These are in almost all of the bathrooms at my school. How these instruments of Satan are supposed to work is simple... If you want hot water, you turn the lever to the left, and if you want cold water, you turn it to the right. They even have colors to help you out. Red means hot and blue means cold. It's so easy that I'm pretty sure I could teach a zoo animal how it works. Now, because I'm not a maniac, I like a mixture of hot and cold water, sort of like lukewarm water. So, I don't turn the lever left or right, instead, I keep the lever in the middle. But, to my surprise, the water comes out scorching hot! How is that even possible? What does the water feel like when the lever is all the way to the left? Magma from a volcano? It's just easier to use cold water.
3. The Small Urinal (In Some Places)
Children pee. I understand that. I don't expect short eight year olds to be wearing diapers until they are tall enough to use a big urinal. With that being said, I go to college, and every time I use the bathroom, it seems like the small urinal is the only one not broken or already in use. In my perfect world, I will never have to half-squat to pee. It's not even a full squat. I need to use all of my focus to not fall over because my knees are in such a strange formation. This one doesn't bother me as much as the other things on this list, but I just needed to get it off my chest.
4. The Small Water Fountain
To the dismay of all old people for some reason, children are the future. Children need water to survive, so a smaller water fountain is completely understandable. But here's the issue. I'm also the future. I'll be twenty in a couple of months, so, technically an adult, and naturally, I use the big water fountain. But when I drink from the big water fountain, warm water comes out of the spout. I don't know many people who prefer warm water to cold, but maybe water fountain companies do, I don't know. But while I'm giving the water fountain a disgusted look for this injustice, I notice some kid with a mohawk drinking from the small water fountain. The kid is smiling wide when he leaves. So naturally, I try the water from the small water fountain, and the water is cold as ice! Once again, I'm half squatting because of kids.
6. Voice Cracks
We all know this kid. He's somewhere between 7th grade and sophomore year in high school. He's sitting around with his friends, telling an exciting adolescent story, but his voice cracks. Halfway through a word, his voice raises about 50 decibels. Everybody laughs, the ladies call him "Kindergarten Matt," even though voice cracks happen to everybody, and if you're gonna call one kid a kindergartener, then you should call everyone a kindergartener. Anyway, voice cracks are annoying to hear. It happens though. That's puberty. What I hate though is that it still happens to ME. Like I said, I'll be twenty soon! My voice should not be cracking. I sound like a sad, but literate, baby snow leopard.
7. People Who Chew Loud
Earlier this week, I saw a movie with a friend of mine. It was called "The Glass Castle." It was alright. Not to good, but not bad either. I had fun seeing it, but my friend and I kept hearing the same thing... A man chewing very loudly. This mouth-breather amazed me. It was the loudest chewing I've ever heard. He was an older gentleman, so I would assume that with all of the experience he's had on this earth, maybe he would've learned to chew a little quieter. Guess I was wrong. Maybe he and his bestie, George Washington, got matching wooden teeth, making it impossible for him to chew quietly. Who knows?
8. People Talking About Pirates, but Not Specifying Which Type
When the film Captain Phillips came out, my brother explained the plot to me. "Pirates take over a ship." I remember being so excited. Finally, a swashbuckling tale that does not involve Disney. "These pirates are going to be horrifying" I thought to myself. My two brothers and I went to my grandparent's house to watch the movie on PPV. While we were watching the movie, I noticed something was off. There were no parrots. There were no eyepatches. There were no brigs. Then it hit me. My brother was talking about Somalian pirates. Don't get me wrong, I think Somalian pirates are a real threat and they are scary, but I was expecting rum and fun hats. When I voiced my initial confusion, my grandpa pointed out that these were REAL pirates. There is nothing more real than a peg leg grandpa (except a real leg).
9. Guys Who Give Themselves Nicknames
"Hi, my name is Devin, but you can call me Knife-Blade." Nobody would call this person Knife-Blade. It is also clear that this person gave themselves this nickname, because it is to stupid to be given out by a real friend. There is no reason to give yourself a nickname, so just don't do it. You'll look like a poser. Don't be a poser.
10. Guys Who Own Swords, But Don't Know How to Use Them
Look pal, I know that nothing matters more to you than protecting your loved ones, but you should probably put that sword away before you hurt yourself and your loved ones. I know swords are cool. It's a fact of life that there is no getting around. Personally, I don't think I would keep a sword on my wall, but if you do, there are no complaints from me. Just don't tell me how many "thugs" or "terrorists" you've slaughtered with it. You and I both know you're lying, and it will make me form a lesser opinion of you. No matter what you think, watching a Bruce Lee movie does not make you a sword expert. Neither does watching that scene with the Crazy 88's from Kill Bill Vol. 1. That's like saying I know how to do surgery because I've watched Scrubs. I don't and neither do you.
I think that's enough venting for now. Thanks for reading!