In the United States, anxiety disorders are the most common type of mental disorders, affecting over forty million adults aged eighteen and older. Having anxiety makes even the most simplest tasks extremely difficult, and can make even the strongest of us crumble into a deep, dark hole of over-thinking. There are countless different types of coping methods with those who have all different forms of anxiety such as medication, therapy, and even simple things we can do every day such as exercise, learning how our individual mind works, meditation, or even repeating mantras to ourselves to stop the vicious thoughts anxiety causes us to have. I know I have had to find the coping methods that work best for me, and I use them every single day to continue to grow stronger and not allow anxiety to control my life.
However, one of the aspects of anxiety that is not as often talked about is what it's like to love someone while having an anxiety disorder. While this can come along with several small bumps in the road, it is very much possible to overcome if who you are with is loving, willing, and patient. Here are some of the most common experiences that someone who has anxiety endures when they love somebody. Whether you are reading this as someone who first hand experiences it, or reading it as someone who wants to better understand it, it is always beneficial to have a strong understanding.
1. You can't shake the "it's too good to be true" feeling.
Yes, when we find someone who we feel is just so right for us and perfect in our eyes, we all have that "this is too good to be true" feeling. For most, that is easily shakable. However, if you're someone with anxiety, this feeling although so good, can cause you to doubt your feelings, your significant others feelings, or that a relationship with them would even work. The thoughts and feelings of doubt that go hand in hand with this are scary, vicious, and so hard to shake, but with given time and effort, this bump in the relationship can be overcome.
2. You doubt the feelings of your partner.
This one is extremely common among those who have not only anxiety, but a strong fear of rejection as well. You can sit up late at night overthinking every single action, word, or reaction from your significant other to death, causing fears of them not loving you to arise. This is completely normal, and the best course of action here is just to communicate with your partner to give a little extra reassurance sometimes as this fear most definitely fades with time and growing comfort with your significant other.
3. You overcompensate out of extreme fear of losing them.
Ever hear the saying that love makes you do crazy things? Try experiencing that intense rush of feelings of love with on top of that, fear of losing your partner. These two put together can cause one to some crazy things, but at the end of the day, you are no psycho, you are just intensely and anxiously in love and mean the best.
4. You panic when small things go wrong.
This stems from the escalated fear of losing your partner. You have this fear when things can be going absolutely perfect, so when small slip ups, minor fights, or butting heads occur, this fear escalates to a whole new level, which ties into why you'd overcompensate and do crazy things to make sure you and your partner are okay.
5. You need reassurance time to time.
This one is something we all need sometimes from our partner because let's face it, we all have some anxiety sometimes, and receiving reassurance from the one person we love and trust the most gives us such a rush of calm and euphoria. However, if you have anxiety, the only difference is you may need this a little more often especially in the beginning.
6. You find it hard to let your rocky past go.
This is an obstacle more people than you expect have to get over when they are first starting to form the foundations of a potential relationship. If you have had a past filled with rejections, heartbreak, and mistreatment, you may just need to move at a slower pace as you enter a relationship. However, when you do overcome this obstacle, everything falls into place just fine as time, self-love and patience from your partner help so much.
7. You trust very quickly, but only when it's the right person.
It can be difficult to open up or let your walls down to a potential partner as both members in a relationship grow to become extremely vulnerable to each other. However, if it's the right person, you will know because you'll find yourself so easily able to tell them anything and everything, as well as give them the world.
8. You fear telling your partner all of your baggage.
Let's face it, we are human, all of us come with our own baggage. Whether it be anxiety, depression, fear of intimacy, or even being raised in a toxic household, we all come with something we have been through or are going through. The right person is the one who will never give up and want to love you and your baggage. However, if you have anxiety, you may fear being so open about this in fear of your partner leaving. But just know, the right person for you will always either stay or come back, because what's meant to be will always be.
9. You need to be given time and patience.
If you have anxiety, big changes can trigger fears, doubts, vicious thought cycles, and hesitation to leave your comfort zone. This is something that only time, patience, and truly working on this with your partner can help. This is actually a very common obstacle in the starts of new or first relationships, so no need to fear. We all go through it and we all are able to overcome this with the right person. I know I did.
10. You may not allow yourself to fall often, but when you do, you fall so hard.
If you're like me, you have walls put up that only very few people are able to break down. I have only felt as if I was falling a very few times, but only one of those times did I actually feel like it was potentially love. This could be an extremely terrifying feeling, but however also so empowering and uplifting. In order to overcome this fear, you need to allow yourself to feel every single emotion that comes along with this ride because if you're with the right person, it will be so worth it in the end. Just have faith that whatever is meant to be will be if you let things be.
Those who suffer from mental illness, or especially anxiety, will definitely come across bumps in the road as they enter into a new relationship. Even with these bumps, these individuals will continue to love with every fiber of their being if they're given the chance to. If you have a significant other who suffers from anxiety, don't give up on them because if they're given the time and the patience from you, together you have the potential to have one of the strongest loves.
