Polyamory can be a beautiful thing shared between many people, but not everyone grasps the concept that well. Polyamory in it's simplest terms is dating more than one person at the same time. Obviously like any relationship, poly relationships can take on many different forms.
With the magnitude of possibilities polyamory has, it can be confusing and many poly people are very happy to educate others on polyamory. Sadly though, many poly people often hear things that are not so well intended-- or even if they are come off rudely. These are the things we polyamorous people are tired of hearing.
1. "But isn't that cheating?"
No, it's not. The basis for any healthy poly relationship is open and honest communication between all parties involved. If we choose to be with someone else, our partner/s are fully aware of it and are okay with us doing so.
2. "You're greedy."
No, I'm not greedy for wanting to love and be loved by more than one person. I'm just loving the people I want to love.
3. "You're just in it for the sex."
No, and you shouldn't assume what my relationship consists of. There's actually some poly people who are asexual and don't have sex frequently or at all. Polyamory isn't about sex, it's about loving more than one individual and it may include sex, but any romantic may include sex.
4. "You can't love more than one person at a time."
Yes, I can. If you can love your family, friends, and partner all at the same time, why can't I love more than one romantic partner?
5. "If you really loved them, you'd only need one partner."
You may only need one partner, but that's your preference. We love our partners just as much as people in monogamous relationships do, so it's not because we don't love them enough. We just love differently than you.
6. "Do you have threesomes all the time?"
Well, it depends. Some poly people do and some don't. Again, it all comes down to preference. Don't just assume.
7. "You don't get jealous?"
Yes, we do actually. Many poly people will experience jealousy, but instead of letting it consume their thoughts and actions, we work through the feelings.
8. "You can't get married though so what's the point?"
It is true that poly relationships can't be married legally, but for poly people that seek marriage there's plenty of options available to still have a marriage. A common solution is two partners being married legally, but still living with the other partner/s as if they were a part of the marriage. And for some poly people, they just make the life long commitment without marriage.
9. "How do you raise children in an environment like that?"
It's quite simple-- everyone is a caretaker and the children are showered in love. If a child has more than two parental figures that love them, it just adds to the amount of love and care the kid can receive. It's not a bad way for children to grow up, and it also helps them grow up to be more accepting of different forms of love.
10. "It's just a phase."
No, this is how I choose to live my life and it isn't going to just change.
Polyamory is a wonderful thing, and it's time to start talking about it informatively instead of judging.
