As all of my friends were preparing to go off to college, the summer after I graduated high school I was getting engaged. I wasn’t following the norm, but I knew I was making the right decision for myself. Marriage is something that comes later in life for most, but I am very lucky to have gotten to experience it at 19. It has taught me a lot about myself and life in general.
1. The world doesn’t revolve around me.
I was given everything I wanted and more growing up. I developed a sense of entitlement. When I got married, I learned quickly that I am not entitled to anything, and any decisions I make affect someone else just as much as they affect me. Now I decide for two.
2. I had to grow up.
While a lot of my friends are turning 21 and partying every other weekend, I am at home with my husband. Not that it is necessarily a bad thing, but I had to grow up quickly. My friends and I often don’t have the same interests anymore as my most fun weekend plans consist of Netflix and popcorn with the husband, while they are gearing up for an all-night bar crawl.
3. I have learned how to pay my bills.
Getting married usually means becoming financially independent. When my husband and I got married, being that we were just out of high school, neither of us knew anything about paying bills. A couple of late payments, and a little lower of a credit score, we learned very quickly how to stay on top of our finances.
4. I learned to respect others' ideas.
Growing up, if you did not agree with someone, you could just leave and not have to listen to them. In marriage, it doesn’t work that way. If you don’t agree with your spouse, too bad, you have to go to bed with them and wake up with them, which gives you the motivation to work through it. I have learned a lot about respecting other people’s opinions and tolerating beliefs that don’t resonate with my own.
5. Family is more important that I realized.
I’ve always heard horror stories about in-laws, but lucky for me I got pretty blessed with wonderful in-laws. I learned very quickly that we are now family, and will be for the rest of my life. It is pretty comforting to get another set of people who will stand up for you and help you with anything you need. Having two families to go through life with is nothing but a blessing.
6. Just because people don’t agree with your decisions doesn’t mean that they’re bad decisions.
Since we were only 19 when we married, plenty of people — mostly older adults — made comments to us about our marriage not working due to our age. Frankly, I wasn’t aware that age had anything to do with happiness, but apparently to some it does. A year and a half later, my husband and I are still going, and although it's not always easy, we are proving those people wrong one day at a time. This has helped give me the strength to make decisions about my life based on my happiness and nobody else’s
7. I have learned to accept help when I need it.
This year was pretty rough for me. During rough times, I usually depend on myself to get me through. I learned very quickly that pulling away from your partner can damage and weaken a relationship. My problems are also my husband’s problems, and telling him when I need him has greatly strengthened our relationship.
8. There is no such thing as alone.
I’m a very independent person. I’ve learned from being married that I am no longer alone, and neither is my husband. It is my job to be there for him even if it isn’t the best time for me. I don’t mind dropping everything I have to do and helping him through a crisis because I know he would do the same for me. I know now that I will never be alone.
9. It’s OK to have disagreements.
Some people say that you shouldn’t fight in marriage. Well, I don’t know who those types of people are married to, but it can’t be the real love of their life. My husband and I fight — I’d be lying if I said we didn’t. We look perfect often on the outside, when on the inside, we just finished chewing each other out. It never lasts long, and we are usually stronger when we make it through the fight than we were before it happened. People are different; there are bound to be disagreements, it's all in how you approach them that makes or breaks the relationship.
10. Marriage makes life fun.
We were told by so many people that marriage was going to be very hard. It is indeed hard, but it is also very fun at times. It’s great coming home to the man I love every night, and knowing he will be there when I wake up in the morning. Since we got married at such a young age, we are getting to grow up together and experience so many firsts. During these years that we are supposed to be learning about ourselves, we are going to do that together.
