Going out to see a movie these days can be an enjoyable, albeit pricey, experience. People go to the movies to escape their daily woes. Unfortunately, many patrons and employees encounter more inconveniences that only serve to turn them away from venturing out and/or enjoying their movie theater experience. Here are some points I have come up with from past experiences as an avid movie-goer and a theater employee.
1. Do NOT use your cellphone during the movie.
Believe it or not, a cellphone's glow in a dark room stands out more than most people think. My query is, why would someone pay roughly $7-$12 to see a movie and not even pay attention to aforementioned movie? All they are doing is bothering the people around them who paid the same amount to legitimately watch a movie. Why pay all that money to just sit on your phone the whole time? You could be doing that same exact thing in the comfort of your own home for free where you do not bother anyone with your pathetic, cellphone addicted existence. Also, if an employee catches you on your phone, please kindly oblige. Do not threaten their employment, splash them with soda, and/or threaten to sue the company because it will not end in your favor.
2. Keep your feet off of the seats.
Look, I understand that propping your feet up on the seat is comfortable. The issue is that seats can only bend so far until they break, quite literally. Any amount of pressure applied to seat-backs is actually warping the plastic and slowly knocking internal nails and screws out of place. Plus, it is unsanitary. Literal crap off of seat-backs tracked in by Billy Bob's boots is the last thing movie-goers want to see and not what the employees want to clean. On a final note, if there is a person sitting in front of you, do not prop those feet up on their seat-back. Your personal accommodation is a hindrance to their comfort, and they may justifiably become aggressively agitated.
3. Do NOT talk during the movie.
This should not even need an explanation. It is much like the cell phone except for instead of seeing your disrespectful behavior, we hear it. One time, some teenage individuals were a in horror movie theater deliberately yelling random words like "garlic sauce" during every tense moment for their own strange pleasure. Unless you are at a "Rocky Horror Picture Show" screening, it is probably most appropriate to shut up when the movie begins.
4. Do NOT blame the employees for the expensive prices.
Movie theaters are notoriously famous for expensive prices for tickets and concession stand items. Unless you have been living under a rock for the past 50 years, you should be well aware of this fact. I have been around when employees were told that they should be arrested for charging the prices that are on the menu boards. News flash: Employees do not make the prices and barely have a say in how they are managed. Besides, buying 5 large popcorns with 8 different drinks for your own personal consumption is going to be ridiculously expensive, contrary to unpopular belief.
5. Bear in mind that most theaters are family oriented.
A manager or employee may ask you to tone down the profane language, change your shirt with the naked woman printed on it, separate a couple making out in the latest Pixar movie, or kindly have you arrested for doing drugs on the premises. Due to the family orientation of the establishment, vaping, alcohol, drugs, and general crass language and behaviors are frowned upon. Please be considerate of the other guests around you.
6. Googling movie show times does not always work.
Typically, the movies and their show times for a specific theater location are not always accurate through a Google search. Most theaters have a designated website or phone number to call. So before you come to see "Magic Mike 2," which is out on DVD and left all theaters over a year ago, save yourself the disappointment of a meaningless trip to the movies and a time-consuming complaint by finding the theater's actual website with the most up-to-date times and showings.
7. Carry cash.
Some locations are still cash only. This means credit/debit cards will not be accepted. Besides, why contribute more to the national debt by using a credit card when cash covers the entirety of the payment right then and there? Plus, your identity cannot be stolen through cash transactions.
8. No theater allows outside food/drinks.
Just because other movie theaters let you bring your Starbucks grande macchiato into their auditorium does not mean every theater will. In all honesty, if an employee grants you verbal permission to walk into a movie theatre with any outside food or drink, they are simply a lazy employee who is not following the rules. No theater has a policy that allows the admittance of foreign consumables. That is simply a poor business decision. Every time someone brings in a Domino's pizza, the theater loses money through one less visit to their concession stand. I will repeat myself for the people in the back; NO MOVIE THEATER ALLOWS OUTSIDE FOOD OR DRINK INTO THEIR AUDITORIUMS. It's a myth brought into this world by a few lazy minimum wage employees.
9. Research your desired movie.
A man went up to the register with his family (wife, 3 young children) and purchased their tickets for the movie "Chappie" which was/is rated-R for various reasons. His wife turned her back and the ticket cashier informed the man of the strong R-rating the movie had. The dad checked over his shoulder to see if his wife was looking. She was not and he said, "It's okay." So the kids skipped merrily down the hall behind their parents into the auditorium showing "Chappie." Five minutes later, the wife comes storming out of the auditorium practically dragging the husband by his collar with the kids not so happily treading far behind them. The wife approached the ticket cashier leaving the husband standing back looking like a sad puppy who just pooped on the rug. With a sudden pleasant smile, she said, "I am sorry. We thought this was a live-action sequel to "Wall•e." Can we trade our tickets out for something more kid friendly?" The cashier obliged and sent them on their way with the father trailing behind the group somberly. Moral of the story, never judge a film by its poster.
10. Dispose of larger trash items.
When you make a mess, you clean up after yourself the best that you can. At least, that is how I was reared. Just like how you flush after you use the toilet (as it turns out, not many people do this simple task either), you should be responsible enough to pick up popcorn tubs and drink cups. For one thing, it is a tripping hazard. People are trying to leave the auditorium, which might still be somewhat dark, and they can easily slip on a buttery tub. It is also a hassle for cleanup crews. It lengthens the total cleanup time when they have to run in and pick up the larger trash items before they can start sweeping up popcorn crumbs. This tends to be why it takes so long for movies to begin seating in between showing. The disrespectful man-children who decide to leave everything where they were for someone else to pick up further puts the cleaning and seating processes on hold. Napkins also clutter up scoops thus requiring more trips to a trashcan which serves to make cleaning times longer. Finally, for the love of God, throw away your own spit cups. No one wants to pick those up after what has been done to them. It is absolutely disgusting.
