Being the designated driver, otherwise known as “DD,” for your friends isn’t exactly something you want to volunteer as tribute for, especially if they’re all going to be incoherently drunk. Usually, you can get lucky and one of your friends will be willing to stay sober with you. But unfortunately, not all of us can be that lucky. So the next time your friends ask you to DD for them that night, be sure you keep in mind what you’re getting yourself into:
1. You're the only sober one in a group of obnoxious drunks.
There’s nothing worse than being the only sober one in your group of friends who are all belligerently drunk. Remember, even if you tell them to stop screaming while you're at least trying to salvage your night by listening to Justin Bieber’s newest album or tell them to stop opening the car door while you're driving, they’ll more than likely continue to do it. You’re just going to have to embrace it, crank up your volume and child lock the doors.
2. You can’t be completely mad at the drunk people in your car because they’re drunk.
You may be extremely annoyed with all your friends screaming and getting all emotional and annoying, but you know that you can’t exactly be fully mad at them because they’re drunk. And let's face it, we all do things we don’t mean when we’re drunk.
3. There is a very high chance you will get vomit in your car.
There’s always going to be that one girl in your group that’s so drunk that she’s practically lost all of her motor skills and can’t stand on her own. And if she hasn’t already puked at the party, there’s a pretty high chance she could puke in your car. Always make sure you have a bag for her to hurl in, otherwise your Volkswagen Jetta or Chevy Cruz will without a doubt be smelling like pure vomit; rookie mistake.
4. You have to keep track of all your friends so you don't lose them.
It’s hard to keep track of five drunk people who like to wander off DEEP into the party. It’s basically like babysitting except you’re not getting paid. Considering this is the 21st century and you’re all more than likely going to own iPhones, it’s probably in your best interest to have them all share their locations with you before you lose them. For all you know, one of them could try to walk home while they’re drunk, and run into a cop on the way there and end up in jail and charged with public intoxication (TRUST ME, it happens).
5. Possibility of dragging all your drunk posse out of the party to run from the cops.
Cops are always looking for parties to bust without a doubt. So put on some comfortable shoes to run in if you parked your car far. You may have friends that will refuse to leave the party, but if you say the cops are coming for them, that will get them to leave. If not that, then if you tell them that you’re all going to get Whataburger, you’ll have them running in no time.
6. Leaving the party with more people in your car than you started with.
There are always going to be people that you’re going to see at the party that live in your dorm (if you're in college) and that see that you drove here, so they ask if they can ride back with you so they don’t have to pay for an Uber back.
7. That one friend in a relationship that makes out with all the guys.
If you have any friends in relationships that also like to get wild at parties, good luck. Even if you tell them to stop, there’s a 50 percent chance they won’t listen to a thing you say and continue to hook up with guys that aren’t her boyfriend. However, there’s also a 50 percent chance that they’ll stop and become an emotional wreck; at that point, you’ll wish that she just kept hooking up with those guys instead.
8. Having to watch out for your friends bringing open containers in your car.
Cops can pull people over for anything as long as they have a reason or suspicion. Keep this in mind, especially if your friends are underage. Yelling at them continuously until they remove the drink from your car is most likely the only solution if they’re already drunk.
9. Be prepared to be awake until the crack of dawn.
Time flies by fast when you're having fun at a party while your drunk. However, being sober at a party feels like time is going by at the pace of a sloth. There's no doubt that you probably won't be home in bed, Netflix and chilling anytime before 12 a.m.
10. Your friends are going to blab things that shouldn't be said when they're drunk.
You love your best friend to death, but when she's drunk she gets a little too personal with the stories she tells people when she's drunk. For example, the embarrassing crush you had on that frat guy probably isn't party talk for people that include him to hear.
11. Last but not least, don't take lip from anyone.
The people in your group are most likely going to persuade you differently whether it be to stay out longer, the party you go to, or where you go to feed your late night cravings. You're DD, the person that was nice enough to act as a free Uber driver for them, the only person that should be making final decisions is you.
There are going to be a whole lot of cons to being DD for your friends, but I guess if you look at it differently there could be positives...probably not though, depending on the type of people you take out with you. Either way, seriously consider what you're getting yourself into before you sign the dotted line to become the designated driver for the night. There's no turning back once that night begins.
