Big Sis,

I've known you for my entire life (duh), but even over the course of those 20 years, there are lots of things I've never said to you.

1. You are an exceptional role model.

I don't think there was ever a time in my life where I didn't think "I want to be just like her when I grow up." Why do you think I always tried wear matching clothes with you (which I know drove you insane)? You have always been the model for how to be the perfect human, and while that's always been a little intimidating and more than a little irritating, having that to look up to has really influenced me to try to be better in everything I do.

2. I'm sorry that we were so distant for so long.

Our age gap is a pretty hefty one, and as a result we spent somewhere around 16 years basically at each others' throats. I'm sorry about that. I honestly think me finally going to college and growing up a little bit has had such a positive impact on our relationship. I am starting to see you as an actual human rather than a second mother.

3. You're actually pretty cool.

I spent a long time thinking you were kinda lame (sorry), but now that we're spending more time together, I'm finding out that that's not true. I had no idea the things you were interested in and now that we've finally done the sister thing where we stay up until 2 AM talking, I'm realizing how much we have in common.

4. You are beautiful.

It is so obvious when you're chasing your kids around or laughing so hard you start to cry. You really are beautiful. It's another thing that's been hard to live up to.

5. Sometimes you annoy me.

Surprise, surprise. What I mean is, you're always right. And that bothers the heck out of me. Maybe it's because you have so much more life experience than me, but I've literally never been right in any life talk we've ever had and it drives me absolutely insane. Stop being so smart.

6. I'm proud of you.

Maybe that's a weird thing to say considering how much younger I am than you, but it's true. You've got a stellar career and a beautiful family that you're raising to be incredible people. You married someone who loves you and you keep up with doing the things that make you happy. I am very proud, and also very jealous.

7. Thanks for keeping my secrets.

I may not have shared many things with you, but I am so glad that I know I can trust you with what I have. Historically I haven't felt close enough with you to feel like I could talk to you about anything that I couldn't also tell mom, but our age gap is feeling less and less significant and I'm glad I'm beginning to feel more comfortable opening up to you.

8. I will always be here for you.

I know that being in the "real world" and away from school drama doesn't mean you're any less stressed out. When the world seems like it's just getting to be too much, give me a call. We can go hiking or have a movie marathon or play Guitar Hero.

9. I love you very much.

I might not have the best way of showing it, but I do. I am so thankful for all that you've done for me and above all and despite all else, I love you. Which I guess is a good thing considering I'm stuck with you.

10. I will always back you up when our brother is picking on you.

I guess this one goes without saying, but really. We need to gang up on him more often because he gets the last laugh way too often. That jerk.