PMS is real and it's a real b*tch. For a week before [and if you're really unlucky the week during] the visit from your little friend will turn you into an emotional, hangry shell of a person. So if the lady in your life throws a fit over something ridiculous, chances are she's suffering at the hands of mother nature.
To help, here's a few things that she probably wants at any given moment:
1. Everyone to f*ck off.
I don’t know what it is about people around your period, but if you’re anything like me, you’re probably wishing they would all just disappear.
2. A bunch of different snacks that probably sound disgusting together.
Chicken nuggets, pretzels, a root beer float, twizzlers and buffalo chicken pizza does make a great meal, thank you very much.
3. Anything warm.
Give me all of the sweatpants, blankets, lotion infused socks and pillows. I am making a fort and I’m only coming out when this bullsh*t is over.
Well If I’m going to be a bloated, emotional monster I might as well spend that time binge watching ‘How I Met Your Mother’ again.
5. A half-assed massage.
Since I can’t get the knot out of my stomach can you at least get the knots out of my shoulders?
6. Time to cry.
Nothing feels better than sobbing for a consecutive twenty minutes over a minor inconvenience. Just let it happen.
7. Animal GIFs.
I don’t need flowers, I just need pictures of happy corgi’s and kittens trying to go down stairs.
8. Affection or isolation.
If I need a hug, give me a hug. If I don’t want a hug, you probably shouldn’t touch me.
9. Wine, lots of wine.
If I have to feel this way once a month until whoever the hell knows when, I’m not doing it sober.
10. All of the dessert foods.
I know I already said food, but that’s how important it is. I want all of the chocolate, ice cream and cookie cake you have available.
11. Life to be canceled until further notice.
What do you mean I have to get out of bed and go to work? Can’t you see I’m struggling?