Personally, I would like to fight whoever convinced Americans that you have the mental and emotional capacity of an adult at age 18. A year into my "adult" life and I still find myself looking for the nearest person who looks like a mom to help me when I get lost in public. The expectation to balance work and school, pay bills, and make your own dentist appointments without so much as a tutorial is a little unreasonable to me.
Everyone knows that being an adult can be as fun as it is difficult, but not everyone knows the secrets of how to seem more together than you really are. So, here are a few tips that will help you not only conceal the fact that your life may be a hot mess but make you look like you've got everything on lock.
1. Have a signature something or other
Having a signature scent, pair of shoes or style of any kind makes you seem like you're sure of your identity. All of my Riverdale stans can count on one hand the number of times that we've seen Cheryl Blossom without her iconic red lips or Betty without her ponytail. If you can do both while still maintaining a note of who you are in every look, you come off as someone who knows exactly they are and seem like you're pretty well put together.
2. Plan your outfit the night before
If you're anything like me, trying to put an outfit together right before you leave is setting yourself up to be late. Plan what you want to wear when you have time to play with a look, and actually try it on to be sure that it's what you're going for. That way you won't find yourself standing in the middle of every top you own strewn across the floor with 5 minutes until you're supposed to be somewhere.
3. Stay hydrated and moisturized
Taking care of your body is not only good practice but essential to your overall health. Keep a bottle of water and a tube of lotion on hand. Make it a point to stay hydrated, inside and out. If you abandon water in favor of coffee to keep you powering through your 7-hour-shift and 4 hours of homework after and skip the lotion after your midnight shower, the next morning you will be dehydrated, crusty, and like you're just generally failing at being an adult.
4. Take care of your nails
Video Girls GIF - Find & Share on GIPHYGiphyNow, I'm not saying you have to have a standing appointment to get your acrylics refilled every two weeks to look like a successful adult (but if you do, serious props to you, sis). Nails can say a lot about your hygiene, just keep them nice and clean, and if you're feeling adventurous, slap a fresh coat of paint on them. A firm handshake and good cuticle care can make a world of a difference in a job interview.
5. Chew with your mouth closed (at the table and in life)
Amanda Bynes Viola Hastings GIF - Find & Share on GIPHYGiphyI remember being four and every time I was eating something it seemed like my mom was just waiting to remind me to chew with my mouth closed. While it's simply a matter of etiquette to keep what's in your mouth to yourself, it's also applicable to life. Not everyone needs to know everything going on in your life. Just like back in elementary school, if you come to the lunch table smacking, there are the kids who laugh, the ones who gawk, and the ones that watch in disgust just so that they'll have something to say about you later on the playground. Keep some parts of your life a mystery and take note of how little drama there is.
6. Be knowledgeable
Stay worldly. Keep up with what's going on in politics, learn about something you may only have a little knowledge of, or set out to learn a new skill. Knowledge is attractive and it facilitates growth and new ideas. My teachers have always said that knowledge is power, and in this day and age it's the easiest it has ever been to attain. Be aware of the world you live in so that you can make your own unique contributions to it.
7. Acknowledge other people
Ghandi once said, "A thousand candles can be lighted from the flame of one candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness can be spread without diminishing that of yourself." We live in an incredibly competitive world where it has become normal to interpret someone else's success as your failure. This is not the case, and it is not the way that healthy people think. Acknowledge the good other people do and practice expressing genuine happiness for someone else's success. Authentic people are secure enough in themselves to help other people attain that same confidence.
8. Do things on your own
I remember in middle school it seemed like eating alone is the worst thing I could ever do - newsflash, it isn't. Some of the best adventures and experiences you can have are on your own. Treat yourself to lunch for one, take a book with you or people watch. Travel solo, there's no better way to grow than to immerse yourself in a foreign setting without clinging to familiarity out of fear. It's great to enjoy the company of others, but there really is something freeing in knowing that you can essentially do and be anything you want without being tethered to someone else.
9. Talk about things, not people
Eleanor Roosevelt said it best when she said, "Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people." Well-rounded people don't rely on the events in other people's lives for entertainment or as an excuse to drop names. Gossiping and talking about others simply for the sake of having your own name attached to someone else's is immature and a sign of serious character deficit. Share your own experiences and swap ideas based on the perspective you've gained rather than speculate about other people.
10. Love yourself before you ask anyone else to
The most important thing I hope you take away from this brief manual on how to fake your way through adult life, is to love yourself first. It's not always easy to get out of your own head and see yourself clearly when you may not even be sure of who you are, but don't look for someone to love you so that you can love yourself. Your own validation is worth more than anyone else's, and sometimes it will be the only vote of confidence you'll have. Love yourself and draw your strength from it. If you can fall in love with who you are, I promise everyone else will too.
While these tips can be applied to feign mastery of all things adult-ish, know that as you practice them you are actually forming good habits that can't be faked and are evidence of a well-balanced life.
