10 things every English major gets:
1. When people ask you to edit their papers.
If you truly are an English major, then that means you have yet to even edit your own paper, and you may have not have started it. If there is one thing English majors excel at, it’s ignoring their own deadlines.
2. The most annoying question is "What are you going to do with an English major?"
Use it to hit people who ask this question. We can be authors, journalists, teachers, poets, professors, writers for advertisements, screenplay writers, novelists, or playwrights. If you still don’t believe that people can be successful with an English major, I encourage you to check out www.whatcanidowiththismajor.com.
3. “You’re a creative writer! Think of something funny!”
Let me just pull out the magical writing elf that comes up with the snarky one liners everyone loves. As much as I would love to have the power to pull that little guy out, the funny lines you see in published works is probably the result of 10 or 15 failed ones
4. “What’s another word for …?”
As much as English majors would like to be walking thesauruses and dictionaries, we are not. However, there are these neat new things call smartphones; they have the ability to look up any words you might be interested in.
5. When you realize just how bad you are with deadlines.
It always starts off like this; you get the assignment and then you don’t look at it until 2 days before it’s due. Then starts the coffee fueled all-nighter marathon writing time. It’s really amazing how fast your typing skill improves when you find out the paper is supposed to be 8+ pages.
6. Sparknotes.
Sparknotes is simultaneously your best friend and worst enemy. For the better known books, Sparknotes is like the holy grail of notes. But if you get a book written by C.S. Lewis that is so old and forgettable that not even google can save your mortal soul, the sparknotes suddenly turns into a barren wasteland where no note can save you
7. When you find a beautifully written book.
There’s always that one book that makes you want to be a better writer, as well as make you a little bit envious of their writing ability. You’ll reread it again and again, trying to get their secret. (as well as some more of that addicting plot)
8. That ONE literature course.
Whether its romanticism, modernism, science-fiction, or chick lit, there’s at least one era of literature that grates on every English majors nerves, and they’ll end up taking a course in it.
9. Spellcheck.
Much like sparknotes, it’s the English’s major best and worst enemy. There are times when you simply cannot spell a word right, and spellcheck shows up like that awesome sober friend at the party. Spellcheck will take you to taco bell, and make sure you get back to the dorm. However, spellcheck can often mess up you grammar, much like that sober friend who doesn’t make sure you go back into your room, and not someone else’s.
10. When you finally complete a story.
Especially if you spent days, weeks, months or even years working on a story, nothing can describe that feeling of finally ending that adventure or drama. It’s like getting on a plane. You know that one adventure is ending, but depending on where you’re going, it could continue on or start anew completely.
