You've heard of the D1 varsity football athlete signed to Ohio State. You know the lax star who scored 100 goals by junior year. How about the runner who broke every record known to man? Or the basketball team that has made states for the 10th time — overcoming obstacles and defying the odds.
But, beyond the prodigies, the screaming, fear-mongering coaches, and placed in the heat of chaos, lies the bench, where most athletes never step foot to showcase their talents, a term I use very loosely.
The Benchwarmers are underrated in almost every regard. We come to the rescue, even if we're petrified of humiliation and are expected to sit in silence — only making noise whenever the team scores. To be frank, most of us just don't care, though. We're simply there to have fun and make some good ol' traditional high school memories along the way. So, no coach, we aren't harming the team morale in any way, because we don't even get playing time. We won't "step up" because we're perfectly content.
If you're currently a benchwarmer or a former benchwarmer like I am, then you're all too familiar with
1. Goofing off at practice.
Coach looks away? Goof off with the benchwarmers. Water break? Goof off with the benchwarmers. In the middle of a drill? Goof off with the benchwarmers. Doing so will add humor to harrowing practices and minimize Mr. Stalin's iron fist and sharp, profanity-ladden tongue on the sidelines.
2. Having everyone hate you.
You may be okay with being the worst, but the all-star athlete, who seems to conveniently remind you of your unfortunate existence and rain on your parade daily, is certainly not. He or she thinks that you "don't give it 110 percent" (that's not even a real number, ignoramus), "care enough about the team," or, my personal favorite, "don't even want to be there." Honey, I want to be there, but for different, more fun reasons.
3. Being the shoulder to lean on.
We may be hated by the team's alphas, but there are some people who appreciate us for who we are. Chances are, these are the mid-tier athletes — the ones who are good, but despite hours spent in the gym and funds spent on trainers, aren't good enough. These mid-tierers gossip regularly, and you're willing to listen and offer some insight.
4. Getting yelled at.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
5. Trying hard not to laugh.
The gym is dead silent while the coach is on a psychotic rampage with the volume blaring and curse words flying everywhere. And over there, you and your fellow benchwarmers are exerting all the energy left inside to not laugh. You'll get sent through Dante's eight layers of hell for the next three hours if you even dare to breathe too loudly.
6. Complaining about practice.
Different day, same BS equals pre-practice tears and thoughts of "do I really have to be here right now?"
7. Wondering why you're still on the team.
Being the worst really takes a toll on your faith in humanity, ability to refrain from hitting someone and dealing with sports nonsense that won't matter next week.
8. Making bad decisions before "the big game."
Massive banger at Johnny's house? Huge ABC-themed party at a frat house? Oh, but you have a game tomorrow — better get a good night's rest. SIKE. No seriously, that's comedic gold: you're a benchwarmer, remember? Might as well partake in all the shenanigans tonight! YOLO!
9. Focusing on academia and all its glory.
So, sports may not be your forte, but that doesn't mean you suck at everything. The benchwarmer has the opportunity to devote all of his or her time to school, work, community service and other impressive extracurriculars, which will slowly work wonders on your character.
10. Making true friendships that will last a lifetime.
There is no greater (or weirder) bond than the one shared between benchwarmers. And we wouldn't want it any other way.
