A large part of any college experience is dealing with the inevitable sign of a great night out -- hangovers. Some people get nausea, some get headaches, and unfortunately there are those times you get a more emotional or moral hangover, but the point is, we all deal with them at some point. And they suck. But when Sunday (honestly, Friday mornings are probably worse, crippling hangover + class = no bueno) rolls around and all I can do is lay in my bed crying about how my body is rejecting me, how I want to eat 16 bagels from Bruegger's Bagels, or how I am like actually slowly dying a painful death, there is one thing that can cure it all: Harry Potter. So, to ease your sorrows and hopefully distract you from the pounding in your head, here are hangovers, as told by Harry Potter.
1. You wake up and assess the damage.
Ah, Sunday. A day of brunch, of productivity, hey maybe I'll even get that run in! Then you sit up. No, no, no. Sunday is a day of suffering, both physically and emotionally. You're either spending the day somewhere horizontal, or you are torturing yourself in a library cubical trying not to read the same sentence over and over. There's a reason they call them "Sunday scaries."
2. You might still be drunk.
Lack of sleep, lack of late-night snacking, or maybe just a lack of self-control regarding dranks can all lead to you waking up just as hammered as when you went to bed. On the bright side, the hangover hasn't hit you yet, so you can hilariously proceed with your day. Until the hangover comes later and you have to stop drop and roll back to bed STAT.
3.You don't know how to feel right now.
Honestly, what am I doing right now? One second I'm laughing at the 600 pictures I took last night on my phone the next second I'm crying because I've never felt this terrible and I'm never drinking again. I feel guilty that today has become a lost day but happy that I'm in bed watching my favorite movie but then crying again because I just love it so much. I feel lazy because I FaceTime my suitemate who lives 10 steps from my bed but you know what I deserve this treat yo self. It's an emotional rollercoaster.
4. You get up and it's immediately to the nearest bathroom. Or trashcan.
Woof. Didn't realize it was that bad. The worst is when you're in class, though, I mean do you think everyone knows what I'm doing when I run out 6 times in my 50-minute lecture?
5. That horrible moment when you think it's a cup of water by your bed...
Oh, that's vodka. Have a great rest of your day!
6. You look in the mirror for the first time.
Sweet baby Jesus. Is this what my hair looked like? Why didn't I take my makeup off omg I'm a feral animal praise the lord my roommate is the only one who can see me right now (my deepest condolences if this is not the case).
6. You finally emerge from your bed and have to interact with people.
Do not speak to me. The fact that I am moving is a miracle and your loud voice and annoying questions are hurting my soul.
7. You see your friend that saved you last night.
Thank you for dragging me off the dance floor when I wouldn't leave and not letting me kiss that creeper and stopping me from ordering two large cheese pizzas with cinna-sticks and a lava cake at 3 a.m. and taking my shoes off even though I was calling you names and told you I hated you. You da real MVP, my turn next week.
8. You ask why this is all happening to you.
Why, world? Why me? What did I do to deserve feeling this way (besides take six shots of tequila after a Moscow mule, two glasses of wine, and a round of lemon drops at dinner. Sounded good at the time). Why am I being punished for living my life?
9. You realize your student ID and credit card are missing.
I mean I remember putting them in my bag after dinner, how could they fall out?! I wasn't dancing that much (except when Sorry came on, ugh I know I'm the worst but it refuses to get old)! Omg what if I got robbed?! My parents are going to kill me. What time does the bar open ew I do not want to see it in daylight?
10. And finally, you remember that tomorrow is a new day.
Today is miserable. Hangovers hurt. But you will get through it and you will feel better tomorrow! And if you don't, a Harry Potter marathon is the perfect remedy.
