Hi! My name is Bailey, and I'm an online shopping addict. Nothing compares to the feeling of pressing "complete order" on a cart full of incredible things - except maybe getting the email that a package has been checked in for me. I'm so addicted to that feeling that I've found myself ordering simple things I could easily go to the store and get, just so I can have the amazing feeling of receiving a package. Here are the 10 stages of being an online shopping addict.
Stage 1: Desire.
You see someone wearing something impossibly cute, and you know you have to have it.
Stage 2: Searching.
Stage 3: Discovery.
Who knew there was so much cute stuff in the world? As you're searching for the one thing you wanted, you end up finding ten more things you surely cannot live without.
Stage 4: Saying no.
This is the hardest part of any shopping addict's day. You look at what you've added to your cart and try to convince yourself you have something else almost exactly like it, so you don't need to buy it. (This almost never works.)
Stage 5: Saying no, second attempt.
If convincing yourself you already have similar things doesn't work, you start looking at the prices and reminding yourself you're a college student who can't spend $50 a day on clothes. Even though the dress is really, really cute.
Stage 6: Acceptance.
Stage 7: Regret.
Stage 8: Regret, part two.
In an attempt to convince yourself what you ordered was reasonable in the scheme of things, you check your bank account balance. This always, without fail, leads to even deeper regret and an existential crisis over the choices you've made that led you to this place. Pro tip: don't look at the balance. Ignorance is bliss.
Stage 9: Waiting.
Stage 10: Pure bliss.
You finally get the email that your package has arrived, and you feel like all is right with the world. Because...
So there you have it, my fellow online shopping addicts. Now go forth and order!