Hi! My name is Bailey, and I'm an online shopping addict. Nothing compares to the feeling of pressing "complete order" on a cart full of incredible things - except maybe getting the email that a package has been checked in for me. I'm so addicted to that feeling that I've found myself ordering simple things I could easily go to the store and get, just so I can have the amazing feeling of receiving a package. Here are the 10 stages of being an online shopping addict.
Stage 1: Desire.
You see someone wearing something impossibly cute, and you know you have to have it.
Stage 2: Searching.
You immediately hit your favorite sites to look for the specific item.Stage 3: Discovery.
Who knew there was so much cute stuff in the world? As you're searching for the one thing you wanted, you end up finding ten more things you surely cannot live without.
Stage 4: Saying no.
This is the hardest part of any shopping addict's day. You look at what you've added to your cart and try to convince yourself you have something else almost exactly like it, so you don't need to buy it. (This almost never works.)
Stage 5: Saying no, second attempt.
If convincing yourself you already have similar things doesn't work, you start looking at the prices and reminding yourself you're a college student who can't spend $50 a day on clothes. Even though the dress is really, really cute.
Stage 6: Acceptance.
You realize that your addiction is stronger than you are, and you simply need these things. You look at the adorable items in your cart, which may or may not include what you set out to find in the first place, and you press "submit order."Stage 7: Regret.
As soon as you press submit, you realize this is your third order in four days. You realize that you have a problem, and you start to regret even having access to the Internet.Stage 8: Regret, part two.
In an attempt to convince yourself what you ordered was reasonable in the scheme of things, you check your bank account balance. This always, without fail, leads to even deeper regret and an existential crisis over the choices you've made that led you to this place. Pro tip: don't look at the balance. Ignorance is bliss.
Stage 9: Waiting.
As soon as you get the email that your order has been shipped, you start refreshing the tracking data five times a day and constantly checking your email to see if the package has arrived and been checked in.Stage 10: Pure bliss.
You finally get the email that your package has arrived, and you feel like all is right with the world. Because...
So there you have it, my fellow online shopping addicts. Now go forth and order!