The most famous line of any breakup is, "It's not you; it's me". Usually, this is just the polite way of letting someone down. But in some cases, it can be very true. Even when you did everything right, the relationship still didn't work out for reasons that are well out of your control. Really, the only mistake you made letting a manipulator pull you in. We all know someone that is a skilled manipulator, whether it's an ex, a friend, a family member, or any other person you've come in contact with. Here are 10 classic signs that the person you're dealing with is a manipulator.
1. They get mad at you for normal behavior, leaving you questioning every move you make.
Things that you considered to be normal behavior are suddenly pointed out and analyzed. Why would you do that? Why would you say that? It wasn't anything you'd ever thought about before, but suddenly you're questioning every move you make.
2. They belittle your concerns and feelings, making you feel as if you are imagining things.
Sometimes, you're having a bad day and just want to vent. Or someone said something that upset you. Or you feel like something isn't quite right and want to clear the air. If whatever you're feeling isn't something they can understand or relate to, then it must be wrong. You constantly feel the need the explain what you're feeling and justify why you feel that way. It leaves you wondering if maybe there is something wrong with how you've been feeling.
3. They compare you to other people.
If their best friend's girlfriend doesn't feel this way, then clearly neither should you. Or if their sister doesn't get bothered by that, then neither should you. Or if their other close friends are willing to try it, then you should be willing to also. All of your actions and feelings are compared to those of different people in different situations.
4. They devalue your accomplishments.
When you achieve something that they couldn't or didn't, then you shouldn't get joy out of that either. You won't get a congratulations, or a good job, or even an acknowledgment that you achieved anything at all. They'll never tell you that they're proud of you. It'll leave you wondering if what you did was even that important.
5. They know all of your insecurities and aren't afraid to use them against you.
They know all of those little things that you can't stand about yourself, or parts of your past that you want to erase, or any of the little things that upset you. And they are not afraid to use those things against you.
6. When you get mad at them, somehow you end up apologizing.
When they do something that genuinely upsets you, and you finally stand up for yourself, don't expect an apology. Somehow, that mistake will fall back onto you. Maybe you should've spoken up sooner. Or you shouldn't have been so disrespectful in the way that you spoke to them. Or their feelings were so hurt by your behavior. No matter how they twist it, somehow you'll be the one walking away guilty. Becuase...
7. They know just what to say to get their way.
They know just what to say that will make you give in. They can manipulate all of your thoughts and feelings to suit their needs. No matter how upset or stubborn you are, somehow they'll find a way to make you agree with them.
8. They pull effort out of the relationship, leaving you wondering what you did wrong.
The harder you try, the less they'll try. You hear from them less and less. They have no time for you, but time for everyone else. They tell you that you're overreacting, but you know that something is up. You'll find yourself wondering what you did wrong this time.
9. Just as you're about to walk away, they make it up to you with a sweet smile and a kind gesture, leaving you wanting more.
Finally, you've had enough. You can't take any more of this emotional roller coaster. Just as you're about to walk away, they know just how to pull you back in. And the cycle begins again.
10. They are the person you would least expect it from.
The thing is, they weren't always like this. In the beginning, things were great. Slowly, the warning signs begin to appear. By the time you realize how bad things are, you're already in too deep. You don't want out, you just want things back to how they were before. You miss when your boyfriend would surprise you with your favorite food and send you pictures to make you smile. You miss gossiping and joking around with your best friend. You miss the person that you couls depend on. The hardest part is accepting that you won't get that relationship back. But once you do accept that, you can set yourself free.
Feminism Redefined
