I've lived in a lot of different states all over the country; let me tell you that NONE of them even come close in comparison to the erratic driving that goes down in Jersey. When people get behind the wheel here, they mean business. We want to get from Point A to Point B as quickly and traffic-free as possible. But, when there's some bumps in the road along the way-- watch out!! Here are 10 things you know to be true if you happen to be a Jersey driver like me:
1. We Don't Slow Down For Yellow Lights
Whether or not we're in a rush, we put the pedal to the metal whenever we see a yellow light. If I'm behind a car that has the audacity to slow down approaching the light, I am genuinely angered. Clearly, if you had the time to break for the past mile then you had the time to floor it and make it through. I'm wasting time, gas, and money sitting at a red light when it could have so easily been avoided-- AND that one light is more than likely what made me late.
2. What Speed Limit?
Pure neglect. That is the best way to describe how Jersey drivers view speed limit signs. It doesn't matter what it says-- we are always going over by at least 20mph. The expressway, garden state parkway and virtually any highway are not included in that rough estimate and therefore all bets are off. We are always cruising and no one can stop us!! (well... maybe the police)
3. Road Rage
This is 110% a real thing. I had my permit at age 16 and since that day it's like the Driving Gods have lit a fire under my ass. Each and every time I get into a car (by the time I reach my destination) I will have honked my horn, screamed out some not-so-nice words, and I might even have flipped someone the bird. Driving in Jersey is a very stressful activity and it is seldom that I have a pleasant experience going anywhere.
4. You Have An EZ-Pass
5. You Are All Too Familiar With The "Jersey Slide"
No this is not some weird New Jersey version of the "Electric Slide." The Jersey Slide is typically seen at any point of time in the day while driving on 3 or 4 lane highways. Since we're all secretly aspiring NASCAR drivers, we stay in the fast lane (the absolute farthest left lane from the exit) for the major duration of our drive. Then once we are approaching our exit, we quickly weave in and out and essentially "slide" through every lane of traffic to get off at our exit. This strategy is sure as hell not the safest-- however it is the most time efficient, and that is our #1 priority.
6. We HATE Out of State Drivers
Hello we hate each other so you better believe we cannot stand drivers from elsewhere. At least if you're from here, you know how Jersey driving works (or you should.) PA, Delaware, and New York drivers seem to be the most common. They just don't understand that we are an entirely different breed when it comes to being on the road. If you can't keep up with us, then get out! (we don't dislike you, we just REALLY can't tolerate your driving.)
7. Forget City Driving
Philly is not a far drive from most places in Jersey. But we will not make that drive. Personally, I'd rather drive to a train station and travel that way instead of dealing with the congestion and the cut-throat Taxi drivers. I literally do not even have the patience to sit through the numerous lights, bumper to bumper traffic, and stopping for cross walks.
8. The Dotted Line
There are many times I find myself driving down a 2 lane road--especially being a South Jersey native. More often than not, when I'm on that road, I am stuck behind a literal SNAIL. There is a loop hole to this situation though and it's called the dotted line. This line is a God send. We can pass by whoever we want (legally) and continue speeding on our way. Side note: if the dotted line is not there we will still pass because nobody has time for that.
9. Circles, Jug Handles, & U-Turns
Whoever came up with these concepts definitely did not understand how to properly create a "shortcut". Circles are phasing out (finally) but jug handles and "u-ies" are very much still alive and thriving. Why on earth do I have to drive around half of a circle just to make a left turn??? We're one of the few places in this country that has to make turning left so damn difficult. Not only is this more time consuming but it also slows down the flow of traffic. I don't even think twice anymore about making illegal left turns because I feel that, if everyone else can, then why can't we?
10. We Are Always In A Rush
Even when we are really in no rush at all, we tend to drive like we are 100% of the time. I'm not entirely sure why this is. Going faster and making it through as many green lights as possible makes us feel like we are gaining time instead of losing it. If my GPS says I'll arrive at my destination at 4:00 and I get there at 3:56 I feel SO accomplished. Those 4 minutes mean nothing to a regular person but to a Jersey driver they give us a sweet sense of satisfaction.
Even though I am responsible for taking part in these 10 things, I'm still proud to be a crazy Jersey driver and you should be as well!
