Whether you are 12 years old just about to get into those nerve wrecking teenage years or 25 years old still figuring out who you want to be, we all have good and bad days. I'm only 19 years old and yet I feel like I've learned many things in the past year that most adults don't even understand. I'm still trying to figure myself out as I bet all of you are, so I figured I would share some of the secrets and little reminders that have helped me get through this crazy thing we call life.
1. Material things truly do not matter.
Let’s be honest — us college students are constantly on our phones or computers, treating them like the most valuable things on earth. I’ve learned lately that if you put your phone down and just listen to what’s going on around you in the real world, you can truly learn so much about yourself and the people around you.
2. If you love someone, tell them.
“Life is too short” is such a cliché, but at the same time, so true. Life changes in the blink of an eye and you don’t want to regret saying what you never said. If you love someone, tell them because those three words alone could change everything for someone.
3. Don’t hold things in, it will destroy your heart.
I think we can all agree that having bad energy in our systems in one of the worst feelings in the world. Bottling up your emotions can damage you physically, mentally and emotionally. As John Mayer says in one of my favorite songs, “Even if your hands are shaking and your faith is broken — say what you need to say.” I promise it will do more good than bad for you in the end.
4. Learn to forgive people, even if you can’t forget.
Like I said above, holding in bad energy is draining. People make mistakes and no one is perfect. If we don’t accept this as humans, we are just setting ourselves up to live miserably. It takes so much more energy to be upset at someone than it does not to be. I’m not saying you have to forget whatever happened, but you should be able to forgive and let things go.
5. There is always a reason for a reaction. Try to understand that first.
Sometimes we as humans have a tendency to take things personally. Maybe the waiter wasn’t as nice as you thought they should’ve been or your friend seems to snap at you for no reason. The thing is that there is always a reason. That waiter you didn’t leave a tip for just found out his grandmother passed away. The friend that just snapped at you just found out that she didn’t get the job she’s been trying to get. Try to be compassionate and understand that there are other things going on in peoples' lives that we don’t always know about.
6. Soul mates aren’t always found in romantic relationships — you can find your soulmate in a friendship too.
Everyone always thinks that you only have one soulmate and that’s the person you are supposed to marry. I firmly believe in soul mates too, but I don’t think it limits to one person and only romantically. I believe that my two best girlfriends I have are my soul mates. A person that can just look at you and know how you are feeling or what you are thinking. A person that you can be your complete self with. A person who understands you to no other end. A person that makes your world so much better. That’s a soulmate.
7. Never tell someone a flaw that they can’t fix in 10 seconds.
Everyone has insecurities they obsess over. The worst thing someone can do is point out that flaw. If your friend’s eyeliner isn’t as perfect as you think it could be, go ahead and tell them! But never ever point out something on a person that they can’t physically fix because chances are, they already thought about it 10 times that day.
8. Life is tough, but so are you.
We all have those “why me” days where the world feels like it’s out to get you and only you. Trust me, I feel like this at least once a week! But if you think about it, everything bad you have ever gone through — you’ve gone through. You can get through this too. Just take a deep breath and move forward. God wouldn't give you this life if he wasn’t sure you could handle it.
9. Things may seem awful at times, but there are always those moments of serendipity that make it all worthwhile.
We have all gone through things that people outside our own personal world couldn’t even imagine. I’m not going to tell you that what you were feeling in these times wasn’t genuine, because it was. And I know too many people that have tried or succeeded in leaving this world because of it. I’ve learned that to get past these feelings, you really need to think about your favorite moments you’ve had in life. The moments of pure joy and bliss. The moments where nothing feels bad. These moments will happen again. Don’t let them be over and don’t let those bad moments in life destroy your soul. Just believe in the good in life.
10. Try your best to do good in the world, there is already too much bad out there.
Between crime, poverty, disasters, heartbreak and loss, the world seems like a terrible place. But it doesn’t have to be if you choose to be a good person. Hold the door for people. Smile at a stranger. Tell someone they look beautiful. These gestures seem small, but think of how happy even one of those acts could make someone and yourself in the process.
