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10 Reasons Why We're Salty

Christina Perez

and

Rachel Rinehimer

Feb 13, 2017

Messiah College

499

Complex Life

We have often struggled with the idea that being salty is seen as a negative thing. You are not meant to be a perfect person, you are meant to be a person with emotions and feelings. Here are some things we are salty about.

1. When Tall Girls Complain about being Tall

Stop complaining, you are a queen and you tower over me. I wish I was a beautiful giraffe-like you are. Wear those heals, show off those legs. At least you can wear maxi dresses.

2.) When short girls complain about being short

Yes.....we know that you're short......no, we don't care. In reality, short girls are way better anyway ;)

3. When There isn't Hot Water In The Showers

Nobody WANTS to take a cold shower. You can yammer on and on about the health benefits, I don't care. It's not fun, and it is the last thing I want, ever. Period.

4.) When the shower water is way too hot or way too cold

There is nothing that I dislike more than a bi-polar shower temperature. The shower just needs to make up its mind already!

5. When The Internet Connection is Too Good

You might be wondering why I would be salty about this, honestly it's just for pure anxiety factor alone. Why is the internet this good, the school's internet is never this good. *Saves 1,000 times*.

6.) When the internet connection is atrocious

Why internet?! Just why?! I have two papers, three online quizzes, and Netflix to watch all by class tomorrow! Can you not?! (Messiah wifi is notorious for this and it makes me so salty)

7.) When you have dirty dishes to wash

We all dread the day that we have to do dishes.....I don't think that I have met someone who enjoys them. However. they just need to be done and no one else is going to do them for you....and that just makes me so salty...

8. When All Your Dishes are Clean

Don't get me wrong, this is amazing.....and terrible. I just spent like 20 minutes washing all these dishes and now I have the audacity to need a FORK? But all this dishes are clean, I don't want to get them dirty I JUST washed them. It's like being in a museum.

9.) When teachers assign you homework on the weekends

No...just no, professor. Why do you do this to me? I just wanted to be able to sleep in and watch Netflix for the weekend! Well, I guess that's off the table.

10. When your Teacher Doesn't Assign Homework over the Weekend

Not having homework over the weekend usually means one thing...more work doing the week. Binging Netflix is a 24/7 job, I need my work spread out evenly people.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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10 Reasons Why We're Salty

10 Reasons Why We're Salty

1. When Tall Girls Complain about being Tall

2.) When short girls complain about being short

3. When There isn't Hot Water In The Showers

4.) When the shower water is way too hot or way too cold

5. When The Internet Connection is Too Good

6.) When the internet connection is atrocious

7.) When you have dirty dishes to wash

8. When All Your Dishes are Clean

9.) When teachers assign you homework on the weekends

10. When your Teacher Doesn't Assign Homework over the Weekend

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No, I can't help you.

1. When a customer wants to return a product, hands you the receipt, where is printed "ALL SALES ARE FINAL" in all caps.

2. Just because you might be having a bad day, and you're in a crappy mood, doesn't make it okay for you to yell at me or be rude to me. I'm a person with feelings, just like you.

3. People refusing to be put on hold when a customer is standing right in front of you. Oh, how I wish I could just hang up on you!

4. Having the same conversations over and over again! To be honest I really don't even want to talk to you right now, or have this fake ass smile on my face!

5. Always having to have a smile on your face. I promise I'm not as happy as I may look!

6. Customers not understanding that sometimes, mistakes happen. I am a human being, we all mess up sometimes!

7. Having the boss from hell, it's their way or the highway! Even though I did my job correctly and efficiently, if I don't do it the exact way you do, I'm a piece of shit.

8. Having coworker who don't help out, who bend the rules just enough to screw you over.

9. Having to be at work after closing because a customer is taking forever and half! Not like I'd like to go home or anything!

10. Having shitty hours and more shifts than you asked for. Just because we don't have enough workers, doesn't mean I want to pick up every shift that you cant cover, oh great boss of mine!

11. Not having time for a social life. It gets old saying, "I can't I have work..." Every day of the week!

12. Having that lazy costumer who can't do anything for themselves... no please I'll get that, it's no problem at all!

It's just my face, I swear.

1. When you meet new people, they automatically assume you hate them or are rude.

2. People are constantly asking you if you're OK.

3. After being friends with someone for a while, they confess to you, "I thought you were so mean when I first met you," or, "I thought you hated me."

4. You get told to smile more, but they don't understand how scary that would be.

5. You're always labeled as seeming "judgy."

6. Passing a friend with your RBF in full force and not realizing you just shot them a death glare.

7. Being sarcastic, but everyone thinks you're outright rude.

8. Not knowing how mean you really look until you see a picture of yourself in resting face.

9. Your apologies never sound sincere because of your emotionless face.

10. Your "mad face" scares you.

11. And, lastly, people are constantly asking you if you are happy or having a good time because you look bored to death.

Please hold your blonde joke.

1. "Is Elle Woods your spirit animal?"

2. "Is that your natural hair color?"

3. "Oh wow, you get good grades at school?"

4. "You must really like the color pink!"

5. "You’re probably not into sports, right?"

6. "You must have such a bubbly personality."

7. "Your wardrobe must consist of all things preppy."

8. "What sorority are you in?"

9. "You were probably a cheerleader in high school."

10. "You look like you’re from L.A. because your hair is so light."

11. "You definitely like Pumpkin Spiced Lattes from Starbucks!"

12. "Do you actually think blondes have more fun?"

13. "You must encompass the typical “white girl” stereotype."

14. "Is that daddy’s credit card you’re using?"

15. "So all of your friends are blonde too?"

16. "I’m surprised about you; I thought you would be a lot ditsier."

The world's greatest university meets the world's greatest show.

1. When you get your acceptance letter

2. When you try to figure out how class enrollment works

3. When it’s move in day

4. When you arrive on campus and see all of the attractive people

5. FROG Week

6. When you find your squad

7. When you visit DHall (RIP) or EHall for the first time

8. When you take on way too many credits

9. When you go to your first party at JMU

10. When the rival school shows up for the homecoming game (or any game really)

11. Sunday Brunch

12. When you see the infamous “preacher” for the first time

13. The first snow day

14. Madipalooza

15. When finals week rolls around

16. When you have to say goodbye

17. And when you finally get to go back

Do you have a small get-together or throw a big bash?

1. Your family and friends ask what you want for your birthday, so you give them a list of options.

2. You're super excited about your birthday the week before.

3. Your family flies in town to celebrate with you.

4. Your siblings wake you up.

5. Your friends are so excited to be with you on your big day.

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