Have you ever wanted to see what prison life was like without committing a crime? Apply to a university and live in the dorms. The experiences seem quite comparable, and here are ten reasons why.
1. Cinder Block Walls
As soon as I walked into the room, the first thing I thought of was... jail cell. From the awful not-quite-white-but-not-quite-blue paint to the one fluorescent light above, I knew that I needed to throw in some lamps to warm up the room.
2. Potatoes
Every meal. Every. Single. One. If you aren't in love with this starch, you might as well not even come to prison, er, college. French fries, Anna potatoes (what?), scalloped potatoes. You name it. Potatoes.
3. You Can't Take the Screen Out of Your Window
That's a fine. You definitely can't leave out of your window, even if your car is parked directly outside. That's an even bigger fine.
4. Random Alarms
Fire alarms at three in the afternoon, or even three in the morning. If you go out of the wrong door, an alarm goes off. If you hold the door to the dorms open too long, you get a loud reminder. If you try to go out of the dorms right after the door shut, an alarm goes off.
5. Public Showers
Please, put a door on the shower stalls. Please. The curtains are not cutting it.
6. There's a Random Sink In Your Room
While it's great for brushing your teeth and washing your face and dishes, it also falls off of the wall when you lean too much on it.
7. "Murderer's" Carpet
My roommate and I came up with this term. You can spill anything on the floor and the carpet just soaks it up. Someone could get murdered, and no one would be able to tell. I promise you.
8. An Exercise Room at the End of the Hall
Unlike prison, it is rarely used.
9. Your Room is Checked Nightly
Someone has a key to your door and comes knocking at midnight to make sure you're still there. RA's are like your own personal prison guard.
10. Visitors Have to be Checked in Before They Can Stay
If they aren't, that's a fine as well. This one really isn't a big deal, as most of us rarely have any visitors.
