So, you've never been to Maine? Well, its probably best – there's not really anything worth seeing here anyways. But, just in case you were still thinking of visiting, here's a list of why you should never, ever visit Maine.
1. Maine is basically a frozen wasteland, seldom graced by the sun.
Acadia National Park, Bar Harbor
2. In fact, there's not really anything to do here in the winter. Like, seriously.
Skiing at Sunday River, Newry
3. Don't bother coming in the summer, you'll never get away from the tourists.
Knife Edge, Mount Katahdin
4. Maine's beaches are all rocky, not at all suited for a beach day.
Old Orchard Beach
5. When it comes to shopping, Maine is seriously lacking.
Freeport Outlets, Freeport
6. Civilization in general is largely absent here.
Downtown Portland
7. Frankly, Portland isn't even really that nice.
Old Port, Portland
8. If you're looking for good food, you definitely don't want to come to Maine.
9. We really don't have anything good to wash all of that nasty food down with, either.
Orono Brewing Company, Orono (via Bangor Daily News)
10. These are all pretty good reasons why no famous people live here.
Stephen King's house, Bangor
11. Basically, you should never, ever come to Maine. You're not really missing out on anything.
Portland Head Light, Cape Elizabeth
































