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10 Reasons Not To Read This List

Don't be enticed by the soft-looking kitten.

Daniel Vazquez
Aug 22, 2016
Rutgers-Newark
71
10 Reasons Not To Read This List
CDN

1. You probably have better things to do. (Go for a walk, plan a fantasy wedding, destroy your little brother in FIFA, literally anything. C'mon.)

2. Everybody knows these lists are a total waste of time. (Lookin' at you, Buzzfeed)

3. This isn't even a top 10 Funny Kitten Video list. (Also a tragic squandering of precious time on this Earth)

4. Would Michael Jordan still be reading this? Steve Jobs? Michelangelo?

5. Life is short. This is your life. And it's ending one minute at a time. (Thanks, Fight Club)

6. Ok, you must really hate yourself.

7. I could recommend a therapist. (Barry's a good dude.)

8. Wow. Is this a new low for you? (It's not for me, shamefully.)

9. Is my favorite number! (I have it tattooed on my right arm.)

10. You have just read items one through ten of a list entitled "10 Reasons Not To Read This List" by some 21-year-old punk with the number nine tattooed on his arm. WHY?! What is wrong with you?



You know what, at this point, as punishment, here's a few more:

12. Don't feed the machine. Don't share this list on Facebook, Twitter, or any social media platform. Don't reward me for my laziness/incredible ingenuity.

13. The existence of this article (and the fact that you've actually read it) disproves God.

14. I am disgusted by you. You should be ashamed of yourself.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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