SO you might have heard of Gary Chapman’s "5 Love Languages": quality time, physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, and gifts. Most people use them in regards to romantic relationships — however, I’ve come to appreciate them and find them extremely beneficial to talk about in ALL relationships. To me, being a better friend and establishing deeper connections with my closest friends is one of my main priorities.
Here are ten reasons why I think it’s each other’s love languages is a great habit to establish among your friend group.
1. You can understand them better when there’s conflict
If you know how they interpret your actions and what makes them feel valued, you’ll gain a better understanding of why they might be upset. Misinterpretation of words and actions might be lessened if you are aware of how they feel loved and appreciated.
2. If you’re unsure why the friendship isn’t growing, this might provide answers
Friendships can’t continue to get deeper if there’s a lack of awareness of how to make each other feel valued and appreciated. Surface level friendships don’t foster deep, meaningful connections if there isn’t a greater understanding of the inner workings of their mind and how they perceive your words and actions towards them.
3. You’ll know just how to cheer them up
You'll know if they need a pep talk, a lunch date, a Starbs, or a hug to get them through a rough day. And isn't lifting someone's mood just the best feeling ever?!?
4. You can give their S.O. the best advice
You'll just know your friends so well that even their S.O. might need some insight on how they can be better. Best friend of the year award will go to you because not only will you be there for your friends in a totally new way, but you can let their S.O. know what makes them feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
5. PLATONIC LOVE IS SO IMPORTANT
This is pretty self-explanatory. You should be as obsessed and committed to your friends as you would be to an S.O. Plain and simple. Cuddles and handholds and hugs and gifts and support and words and compliments and reminders that you love them. All of it.
6. It’s just another way to bond and get to know how they tick
It feels like a million bucks when you know someone understands you. When you know that you can be how you are and your friends will get it... it's so relieving and wonderful. Be like that for your friends. Be someone they can trust and lean on and know that they can depend on you to feel cherished.
7. Your communication skills will only get better
Once you familiarize yourself with the love languages, you'll start to notice be able to identify peoples' even if they don't explicitly tell you. Knowing and learning the love languages of the people around you will make any and all relationships more communicative and successful-- even in work and school environments.
8. Focusing on how they receive love will help you understand yourself better
Through learning about your friend's love languages, you'll probably uncover your own and gain a better understanding of how you show love in different ways. Some things might be easier for you than others... it might be hard for you to compliment your friends, or you might struggle with finding gifts for them, but you might find it easy to plan friend dates and one-on-one hangouts. Through this process, you'll uncover what kind of friend you are and gain awareness of your own communication skills.
9. Focus will switch from yourself to others, making you a warmer and more generous human being
Having a desire to be in tune with those around you takes the focus away from yourself and be interested in the needs of others. Obviously taking care of yourself is important, but it's also essential to growth and fulfillment to care and give to others. Wanting to give love in a more specific and personal way will draw others to you naturally and you may find that connections in all areas of your life will become closer and stronger. Taking time to helping and loving others will, in turn, benefit you and make you happier and more content.
10. Friendships that last
If you continually show your friends that you love them, they'll want to keep you around. If the love and support are constantly being reciprocated between you and your besties, then there's nothing stopping you from being in each other's lives forever. Your friendship will be a gift that keeps on giving, and what's better than that?
