Most people believe that being an only child is either a huge blessing or a terrible curse; there is no in-between. As a child my peers would often envy my only child status, wishing that they didn't have to share a room with their bossy older sister or take the blame for their annoying little brother's antics. As I got older, I began to notice a shift - the envy turned into sympathy and comments like "You must have been so lonely!" became the norm. In reality, being an only child is just another part of what makes me the person I am today. If you've ever wondered what it's like being an only child, this might give you an idea.
1. People always assume you were spoiled.
I can't tell you how many times people have said, "Wow, you must have been so spoiled growing up!" once they find out that I don't have siblings. While I probably received more one-on-one attention than other kids my age who had siblings, I wasn't spoiled. My parents were strict with me and I didn't get everything I asked for. Being an only child didn't come with an unlimited amount of special privileges, although sometimes I wished it did.
2. You were partially terrified and partially in awe when you saw your friends fighting with their siblings.
I'll never forget my elementary school years when I went to my friend's house after school. We'd hop off the bus, play in her playhouse, get a snack, do homework, and play video games. At some point in that routine, a fight would ensue with her twin brother. Whether they were fighting over who got the last Go-Gurt or who got to use the wireless controller, it got to be a little crazy. I specifically remember one day that they chased each other around the house while pulling each other's hair, digging their nail's into each other's arms and ened up wrestling each other to the ground. I couldn't figure out if that was normal or if I should call their mom before they killed each other.
3. You loved hanging out with your friends who had siblings.
Despite the occasional vicious fight, it was always fun to hang out with your friends and their siblings because it meant that for that one afternoon, you had siblings too. Plus, it was always nice to play checkers or do Mad Libs with someone else besides your parents.
4. You often felt like your parents were overbearing.
While it was nice to not have to compete for attention, sometimes all the attention felt overwhelming. Maybe you felt like your parents were focusing too much on your mistakes and failures, or just had too much time to analyze every move you made. Think about it like this: you're the oldest child, the middle child, and the baby all at once. Need I say more?
5. You often imagine what your sibling would be like if you had one.
I've always imagined that I would have an older brother. He would be tall, patient and gentle like my dad, and creative, forgiving and adventurous like my mom. He would have practiced basketball with me in middle school (maybe then I wouldn't have been so bad), helped me with chemistry in high school (maybe then I wouldn't have gotten a D), and warned me about dating my ex (maybe then I wouldn't have stayed in such a bad relationship for so long).
6. You enjoy having alone time.
Contrary to popular belief, I wasn't always lonely growing up. I grew to appreciate my time by myself, and to this day I look forward to a night that I can stay in alone and recharge. A Friday night at home spent writing, reading, watching Netflix or taking a bubble bath sounds amazing to me.
7. You have a unique sense of creativity.
Besides the imaginary friends, you most likely had to be creative growing up. Since there were days that I spent hours playing with Barbies by myself, I got to make up elaborate stories and plot lines without the help of anyone else. When I played school, I was both the teacher and the student. I had a lot of time to think, sing, and play on my own. To this day, I credit my creativity and elaborate mind to being an only child.
8. You want a big family.
Okay, I'm not talking 19 Kids and Counting status, but I've always pictured myself marrying into a big family and having three or four kids of my own. I want the chaotic Christmases, the whole family showing up for the soccer game, the big family vacations and reunions. Maybe I'll take this one back someday when I'm drowning in diapers, my walls are covered with crayon and there are LEGO's all over the floor, but I'm sticking to it for now.
9. You place a special value on your friendships.
Since I don't have siblings, my friends are the people who I share everything with, act silly with, get advice from, and have created my best memories with. I'd like to think that I have a unique bond with my closest friends because they are the ones I've gone to when I couldn't go to a brother or sister. My girl friends aren't just my friends, they're my sisters.
10. You find yourself having to explain why your parents didn't have more kids.
It's always a pain when people question why your parents only had one child, as if they're entitled to know the answer. Do they not like children? Were they too busy to have a bigger family? Did they have trouble conceiving? Were you so difficult as a child that they just didn't want more? This is a very personal question, and usually I just want to tell them it's none of their business.
