Everyone from California thinks they're just about the coolest person in the world. There's nothing they love more than raving about In-n-Out, organic food or the heated “NorCal vs. SoCal" debate. Those of us (a.k.a. me) who grew up in Texas and have never been to California think the Californians need to get over themselves because like, really, how cool could your state be? I get it, you have the ocean and Hollywood and Banzai Bowls, but I'm content in the land of pick-up trucks and 6th Street and Whataburger. Being from Austin, I never really believed that California would be that different from where I was raised. At least, I felt that way until I actually went to California. After spending a spring break in the sunshine with my friends who were also exploring the Golden State for the first time, I have to admit that we all kind of bought into the hype. Of course, as tourists in a state that was way too cool for us, we had to ask the obligatory questions and make a list of the most noteworthy ones:
1. Where's Lauren Conrad? I thought this was "Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County." We HAVE to find her and ask her opinion about Heidi and Spencer on “Divorce Court."
2. Is that person a hipster or just homeless? Are they barefoot to be trendy or because they don't own shoes? I'm not sure whether I should offer them money or ask for their autograph.
3. Is this the beach they show on the TVs in Hollister?
4. Why does everyone keep saying “kickin' it"? Like, instead of “hang out," California kids invite each other over to “kick it." Kick what? What are we kicking? Each other?
5. Oh, you're aspiring to be an actor? Is that why you moved to LA? What a coincidence! Same with that guy over there, and that guy, and that girl. I'm sure you'll all be famous very soon.
6. What is with the traffic here? I thought drivers in Texas were bad until I saw LA. Everyone cuts you off, no one lets you switch lanes, and NO ONE does the Texas friendly driver “thank you" wave when you let them into your lane in 5 o'clock traffic.
7. If I take a selfie right now will people know we're tourists?
8. OMG is that Katy Perry? Okay, be cool. Celebrities are just like the rest of us. Stay calm. Wait, no. Not Katy Perry. Actually, I think that's a man. Hmm. I'm gonna take a Snapchat anyway just in case.
9. Why are there palm trees literally everywhere? How is everything so pretty? The buildings, the beaches, the people – everything.
10. But seriously, why would you ever leave? If you're a California kid who went out of state for college, I'll never understand you.
