1. Inevitable sunburn.
Lying out to tan isn't a thing. Instead, you lie out and burn, which then turns to tan after being a human lobster for a couple of weeks. People gasp when they see your red skin, but you assure them, "Don't worry, it turns to tan, eventually!" This is why sunscreen is your best friend.
2. The struggle of wearing white.
Graduation sucked for you. White dresses?! Whoever came up with that idea had tan skin. White clothing in general does nothing but wash you out. White bikinis are out of the question, the no white after Labor Day rule doesn't phase you, and you die a little inside any time a shirt you love only comes in white.
3. The struggle of wearing black.
Wearing black is risky. There's a fine line between looking fab and looking gothic. If you wear red lipstick as well, you look like a vampire. we can never win.
4. Buying foundation.
Your skin tone goes from winter white (albino), to summer tan (light pale), and then give or take a few shades in between during season changes. Because of this problem, you probably own at least three different shades of foundation with names like "Ivory" or "Nude Beige."
5. Fake tan or human carrot?
It doesn't matter how evenly you apply the lotion, your ankles always end up looking like this.
6. This unfortunate truth.
7. Oh I'm pale? I had no idea.
You've heard your fair share of comments about your pale skin. Do you sparkle in the sun? Wow, you're so pale, you're practically see-through! My Dad's personal nickname for me is Casper.
8. Winter is your season.
This is the one time of the year where everyone else's tans start to fade and soon everyone looks almost as pale as you. Ha! Take that!
9. You feel like you were born in the wrong time period.
Remember when being pale and kinda chubby was considered hot? I can't be the only one who wishes I could travel back in time.
10. Why don't you just use the tanning bed?
Maybe because I don't want cancer, okay?
After living the pale life for almost 20 years, I have learned to embrace my milky complexion. Pale is beautiful, and one day I am going to have significantly less wrinkles than my tan counterparts.
Shoutout to all my pale, fabulous friends for sharing their struggles for the benefit of this article. I love you all.
